Everything Counts
by PicnicAtHangingRockGirl
Summary: Fourteen years later, Jack and Ralph meet up, with Jack knowing where Sam and Eric are. Ralph agrees to go with Jack, spiraling everyone down a journey to the truth, twisting up how they remembered the island. 1963 movie based.
1. Enjoy The Silence

**A/N: Although, the 1963 movie (or the book) doesn't have a certain date attached to it for when the story takes place, I've decided to have it been set in 1944. My story will take place fourteen years later in 1957. **

**My Ages For The Characters**

**Jack and Ralph**- Then: 12 Now: 26

**Roger- **Then: 11 Now: 25

**Sam and Eric- **Then: 8 Now: 22

**The chapters and story are named after Depeche Mode songs.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of _Lord of the Flies._**

* * *

1957: _Lancaster, England_

The excited scream of a child over the long Saturday known as summer holiday, took Jack out of a grimaced slumber. He turned his head to a little gold clock, revealing the time to be 6:15 am. Jack hadn't expected anyone to be up now, but he kept his eyes on the clock, listening to the child's laughter met by a few others.

He pushed himself up right, swinging his legs to the side. He pulled back a little of the beige curtains, allowing himself to see five boys running up the street together. Jack's face remained blank. He let the curtain swish back in front of the window, while he went to get dressed.

* * *

A box of cereal nearly hit the floor, after Jack opened the cupboard, but he caught it (by accident) in the nick of time. Since the box was already in his hand, Jack took a bowl out of the same cupboard and got a spoon out of the drawer. The last bit of cereal poured into the bowl. Jack dropped the box into the trash, before he let a waterfall of milk rush into a glass he would place near his bowl.

His shiny black shoes stay planted on the floor and his legs unmoving in his black pants. His upper body, covered in a light blue buttoned up shirt with a midnight blue tie, hunched over a little for him to bring spoonfuls of cereal from the bowl to his mouth. While satisfying his hunger, he took to scanning the articles of the newspaper he had grabbed off his front steps.

Something Jack had become accustomed to was the silence of his meals. If the television wasn't on, he was left to think about the lack of little children begging him to take them somewhere, the wife who wasn't cooking him up a batch of crepes, and the absence of friends for summer parties that would run long pass midnight.

**(A/N: As for "the wife who wasn't cooking him up a batch of crepes", I know he could do it himself. I just figured that in 1957 men wouldn't be thinking of cooking for themselves.)**

He washed everything by hand in the sink, which he put back in its original place. Jack strolled out the door, without the jacket to his suit because of the heat. He got into his sky blue Chevrolet bel air, catching a glimpse of three healing cuts under his eye. The sight of them brought shame to his heart and his eyes away from the mirror. Then, Jack drove away from the laughing, happy children; who were so innocent and carefree.


	2. Behind The Wheel

Jack passed through the nearly vacant streets, without a destination. Names of shops that triggered interest in the few other people out for the day were just words to him. He saw a middle aged man stop for small talk with an elderly gentleman, a boy scout escorted an old woman across the street, and a young man came out of a shop with a box of chocolates and bouquet of pink roses for his delighted sweetheart. They were, for Jack, what society ought to be and what Jack would never fully and truly be apart of.

He turned the corner away from the good people, who'd probably never killed a peaceful little boy because they'd mistaken him for a beast that had really been themselves. They had never discarded what Jack knew now was the most vital values society can offer.

The next street had a few other people also demonstrating proper living, but the street after that was vacant and so was the street after that. He would have passed right through the third street, if it wasn't for the one man walking on it.

The other man came out of the bakery, carrying two brown bags in his arms. He was in a thin black, blue, and gray sweater vest, khaki slacks, and brown loafers. Jack slammed his foot on the brakes, startling the other man a step back.

Jack frantically pushed the door open, stumbling out of the car. His hands latched on to the door to steady himself. He finally met the other man's eyes, mirroring his own shock and surprise. For a brief moment, the corners of Jack's mouth began to push up, but that faded as fast as the other man's bags hitting the ground.

Jack came away from the car, "Ralph…" Ralph didn't react to Jack's strained greeting. Jack bent down in front of the fallen bags, gathering up what had fallen out. Ralph studied him, unblinkingly. "It's a good thing you only bought bread and pastries, you know. If it were something like eggs, you would have wasted your money." When everything was back in the bags, Jack looked up at Ralph. A look of awaited approval or disapproval shone through in his eyes. It was at that time, Ralph remembered Jack as the savage boy in warrior face paint.

"Fuck off, Merridew." were the words Jack heard before Ralph's shoe slammed into his nose. The woman inside the shop widened her eyes at the sight, gasping.

The image of Ralph blurred a moment and he couldn't make anything out, until he was curled up on the ground. "Aha huh huh huh…." Jack's whimpering scared Ralph. The man curled up on the sidewalk, whimpering over a nose bleed, wasn't the Jack Merridew he remembered. The reality of Jack's gushing nosebleed brought him out of the island.

"Oh, my goodness!" he forgot his bags entirely to help Jack up and into the shop. The old woman's, her gray hair back in smooth bun, eyes showed a little of her fear from behind her oval glasses. "Mrs. Curdy," Ralph sounded as distressed as he looked, "my friend-" He had to stop because the words didn't make sense to him.

"You can use the washroom, in back." she said, pointing over her shoulder.

"Thank you." he told her, leading Jack to the washroom.

She strolled out of the shop, finding Ralph's bags still on the ground. She was still putting all that had fallen back out, when Jack fell over, back in to the bags by the time her husband came running across the street.

"Mariah, I saw everything!" he said, before bending down to help her.

"As did I," she told him, meeting his blue eyes behind oval glasses. They stood up together, "I was by the window. I heard him address the other man as 'Merridew'."

"There in back?" he inquired.

"Yes." she nodded. "I told them they could use our wash room to clean up that 'Merridew' fellow."

His panicked eyes looked from the shop to her, "I'd never have expected this from him."

"He was always so distant, Charles." she reminded him.

"But he seemed like a good man." he pointed out, confused about what was happening.

"I'm not calling him a bad man. I don't think he is bad. " Mariah explained, "I think he acted on impulse over something between him and that man."

Charles looked down, breathing hard. His eyes flicked back up at his wife's, "Did he say anything about what he did?"

She shook her head, "I don't think either of them knew I saw." She added, "He was starting to explain to me what happened." Mariah's eyes saddened, "He stopped talking after he called that Merridew fellow his friend."

Charles looked in the shop, "Those two aren't friends."

"Maybe, they used to be friends." the idea had him turn back to her. "Something could have happened that ended their friendship. Today was probably the first time they've seen each other in years, maybe."

Her husband's eyes were distressed behind his glasses. He sat down on the dark wooden bench next to their bakery. "Let's just sit out here a bit." his eyes begged her to agree.

She replied, sympathetically, "Alright." and sat down beside him.

They both leaned on each other. Charles shared, "When I was Michael's, he told me he's getting some new books in tomorrow."

"That's nice." she said, solemnly.


	3. World In My Eyes

Jack watched Ralph tenderly wiping up the blood he had caused to rush out of his nose. **(A/N: That is not what you do, when someone else has a nose bleed.)** He could still see the frightened little boy, who found the courage to stay civilized. He could remember Ralph explaining the necessity of the conch. He could also remember Ralph running from his spear.

Jack put his hand on the tissues, Ralph was using. Something about Jack's gentle manor moved Ralph. It had him feel suspicious of Jack, but trust him at the same time.

"I'll hold them." the gentleness in Jack's voice was moving Ralph all the more. Ralph took his hand off the tissues and the other one off of the back of Jack's head.

Puzzled by Jack's behavior, Ralph looked downward. He stepped away from him to lean against the wall, keeping his back to Jack.

Jack focused on controlling the blood flow for a few moments. Then, his eyes glided over to Ralph, unrolling his white shirt sleeves. "I liked hearing you call me your friend." If Jack had seen Ralph's eyes, he would have seen all the troubled feelings building up on his unblinking face. Jack suspected something was wrong, when Ralph kept quiet. He added, "It was much nicer than hearing you curse at me. I didn't like hearing you curse like that. It doesn't suit you."

"It's not as if I'm Simon." Ralph remarked.

The mention of the sweet faced little boy brought a heavy silence over them. It was the kind of silence that demands words, but has everyone under it clenching their teeth.

"You were as good as Simon-"

"No, I wasn't!" the few tears Ralph was crying were revealed by his voice.

Jack's voice did the same, "You were pure and you kept yourself civilized. So did Simon."

He waited for Ralph to react, but he didn't say anything. Jack saw him raise his arm to his face. Although he couldn't see his front side, he knew Ralph was wiping away tears. Jack was petrified of the thought that crossed his mind.

Jack knew it was going to make the situation worse if he mentioned what came across in his head, but he forced out, "You and Simon stayed strong. You, Simon, Sam, Eric…" Ralph closed his eyes tightly, knowing the final name Jack was going to list, "and Piggy."

That made Ralph turn around, "They're dead!"

The tears brimming up Ralph's eyes and splashing down his smooth, boyish cheeks had Jack crying, "Sam and Eric aren't dead! You're not dead either!"

"But Simon and Piggy were the best! They were the best out of all of us! They stayed true to civilization!" Ralph argued. Then, he turned around again.

"You stayed just as true, Ralph!" Jack praised.

"I let everything fall apart!" Ralph was sobbing now and he'd turned his back to Jack again.

Jack threw away the tissues, checking under his nose for more blood. When he found his nose to be dried out, he got off the sink he'd been sitting on and approached Ralph. Ralph closed his eyes tightly and opened them up, at the touch of Jack's palm on his shoulder.

"You didn't let things fall apart, Ralph." Jack's words were kind and his voice was sweet. That made it all the more difficult for Ralph to refrain from looking at him.

"Simon died. We killed him. We all killed him because we thought he was that bloody beast you kept talking about!"

"It was an accident. We all felt bad for that death. No one meant for it to happen." Jack explained. Ralph's absence of words had another uncomfortable silence settle over them.

Jack broke it, "I'm sorry for Simon's death, Ralph. I'm sorry for Piggy dying too."

"No you're not!" Ralph decided, but something didn't sound right about it. He faced Jack, "Are you really sorry?"

"Yes," Jack's mouth dropped out the word, from the inner depths of his heart. Ralph was moved by the other man's behavior again. Jack noted this, continuing, "I never meant for or wanted Simon to die. I loved him Ralph. He was sweet and innocent. So, I kept myself away from him. He made me realize the cruelty in myself, but he accepted me. He even accepted me after I denied Piggy food. I remember. I was so angry at Simon for giving Piggy his food. I wanted him to agree with me." His voice broke, "I wanted Simon to love me."

"Is that why you hated Piggy so much?" Ralph asked in a demanding way. "You were cruel by laughing at his nickname, but so were the others. You were the only one who continued to be mean to him, with such vigor."

"He had you. He had your friendship." Jack confessed.

"You could have had it to!" Ralph's statement moved Jack. Now, he was the one who held his tongue. Ralph continued, "I liked you from the beginning." That stopped the blinking of Jack's eyes and it stung in his heart. "We could have been friends, all of us; you, me, Simon, and Piggy." He added, "Sam and Eric too."

Jack's eyes moved around as he digested what Ralph had shared with him. Ralph's eyes settled on the three cuts, matching in length and width, under Jack's eye. "How did you get those cuts?" he asked.

"Sam's wife slashed a bottle against my face, when I wouldn't leave their shop." he replied.

Ralph widened his eyes, "Sam? You mean Sam and Eric?"

"Yes, I mean them." he nodded.

"You know where they are." it wasn't a question or a confirmation, just something he considered to be a fact. Ralph's eyes fell away from Jack, "Would you take me to see them?"

"I will," Ralph looked back into his eyes as he spoke, "if you want to go." Ralph nodded.

They left the wash room together, strolled through the bakery, and came out to where the Curdy's were still sitting on the bench.

"Thank you for letting us use your wash room." Ralph said.

"Yes, thank you." Jack turned to Mariah, "You're Mrs. Curdy?"

"Yes, I am." she nodded, coming out of her shock. "I'm Mariah Curdy."

Jack looked at Mr. Curdy, "And you are?"

"I'm her husband." He added, "Charles Curdy."

Jack offered them both a small, closed mouth smile, "It was nice meeting you both."

"Will you be coming back to our little shop?" asked Mariah.

"Perhaps." he said. "I'm renting a place here in Lancaster."

"That's very nice, I'm sure." Charles commented.

"Yes, it's a quant little house and the neighborhood is quite nice."

Mariah smiled, "That's marvelous, then."

Charles stood up after Mariah did, he said, "Here are your bags, Ralph. I found Mariah picking them up for you."

"He helped too." Mariah said about Charles.

"Thank you." Ralph told them both.

Ralph took one bag from Charles, while Jack took the one Mariah was holding. He explained to Ralph, "I'll take this one for you."

"Thank you, Jack." Ralph said. Mariah and Charles eyed each other because of the obviously unaccustomed way that Ralph and Jack were speaking to each other with.

"Both of you take care." Mariah warned, but in a cheery voice.

"Don't get any more nose bleeds." Charles said like the matter was only joke.

The two younger men chuckled a little, but it was forced and Charles and Mariah could tell. "We will." Jack and Ralph said together.

"Goodbye." Jack said, before turning to his car.

Ralph followed his lead, "Yes, goodbye, then." he told them.

"Goodbye." Mariah said back.

Her husband added his, "Goodbye." after her.

They watched Jack and Ralph drive away. When they were out of sight, the Curdys shared an uneasy look.

"I hope everything turns out alright." she said.

Her husband told her, reflecting her drained expression, "I hope so too." Then, they retreated back into their bakery.

In the car, Ralph pulled out a pastry, "Would you like one?"

Jack was surprised by the offer. "Yes." he finally managed to answer.

Ralph unwrapped a glazed bun, handing it to him, "Here you go."

Before he even took one bite, Jack asked, "Would you mind coming with me to the house I'm renting before we see Sam and Eric. There's something I want to show you."

Ralph was impatient, "What is it?"

Jack sighed, "Please, Ralph, it's important."

"Alright, I'll come with you." he agreed, adding firmly, "but then I want to see Sam and Eric."

"I'll keep my promise. Don't worry. You'll see them." Jack told Ralph.

Ralph leaned back in his seat, "Good." He asked about the glazed bun, "How is it?"

"Very good, thank you." Jack admitted.


	4. In Your Room

They came into Jack's neighborhood, putting a smile on Ralph's face. "This really is a wonderful place." Ralph decided. "It's much nicer than my flat."

"Where do you live?" Jack inquired.

"I live close by the Curdy's." Ralph said.

"Is it a decent place to live?" Jack asked. "Are you comfortable there?"

"Yes, I'm quite alright." Ralph told him. "I just meant that your neighborhood is rather pretty to look at."

"Yes, it is quite nice." Jack added, "I think it'd be more suitable for a family, though."

Ralph turned to look at him, but Jack's eyes stayed focused on the road, "You don't have children?"

"I never married." Jack explained.

Ralph confided, "I never did either."

Jack met his eyes, once they had pulled in the drive way, nodding understandingly. They both pushed open their doors, slamming them carefully. Jack had generously taken one of the bags again. Ralph waited for Jack to get his key out and unlock the door.

"Would you close the door?" Jack asked, walking to the counter, where he put the bag he was holding down.

"Sure." Ralph replied, closing the door. He came around to Jack's left, placing his bag on the counter, "You've kept your house nice." That was an understatement because Jack's place looked like the epitome of cleanliness only seen in magazines.

"Thank you." Jack said. "I'm sure you keep your flat the same way."

"I'm not in it much, so it stays clean that way." Ralph explained.

Jack confessed, sweeping his eyes over his living quarters, "I'm not in this house much either or the house I usually live in."

They could both feel an uncomfortable silence moving in. "Would you like something to drink." Jack asked Ralph abruptly, his voice cracking like the adolescent boy Ralph had last seen him as.

Ralph's voice cracked too, "Yes. What do you have?"

Ralph followed Jack farther into the kitchen. "You can have a seat there." Jack motioned to the circular table, where he'd eaten breakfast alone, and Ralph obliged. "I can give you water from the faucet or milk. No alcohol though. I never did like the stuff."

"I'll have milk, please." Ralph told him.

"Alright," Jack pulled two glasses out of the cupboard. "I'll have a glass myself."

Ralph waited with the patience of a child who could be back handed for complaining. Jack came around, placing a cold white glass in front of him and another at the other end of the table. Jack asked Ralph, "Are you hungry? I could make us something for lunch?"

"The bread I bought. We could eat some of it together." He added, with a little smile, "You did help me carry my bags. And it's the least I could do after kicking you in the nose."

Jack's expression was grave, "I deserved it, after what I've done." He walked over to the bags, fishing out the bread.

"Jack, you didn't-" Ralph began.

Jack snapped, bringing over the bread to be put on a plate, "I didn't what? I didn't kill your best friends? Simon's gone!" He slammed the bread down, "Piggy's gone!"

"Careful!" Ralph advised about the bread, coming over to him.

"I'm sorry," he said at the bread, bringing the plate over to the table, "You paid good money for it, I'm sure."

Ralph grabbed his hand, bringing Jack's eyes to meet his own, "Simon's death was an accident." His voice twisted in pain, "Piggy told me that. He didn't even blame you, Jack."

Jack's mouth parted a little, he looked ready to vomit, "And I hated him so much."

"Why don't we just eat?" Ralph suggested.

"Alright," Jack replied, pulling his hand away. He pulled out two more plates, two knives, and butter. Jack asked, when he was sitting across from Ralph, "Do you pray, Ralph? I mean do you-do you say grace before meals?"

"Yes," Ralph answered.

Ralph thought Jack looked like a beggar, "Would you like to say grace, then? It is your bread after all."

"I'd be happy too say grace." Ralph told him. They slid there hands into each other's, forming a circle of arms around the food, "Thank you, Lord. Thank you for this food."

"Amen." they said together.

They sat there in silence, buttering up their bread for devouring. But they were polite about it. An outsider would have never guessed them as the grown up version of two boys who had once hunted wild life in the jungle.

Ralph put down the slice of bread he was buttering. "Where do you live, when it isn't summer?"

Jack took his own slice of bread away from his opened lips, "I live back in London."

Ralph inhaled sharply, "I haven't seen London since they shipped all the children away during the war. Has it changed much?"

"Our old school's still there." Jack came up with for an answer.

"Golly." Ralph breathed. "It stood up against all those bombs."

"It was never even hit." Jack couldn't help but sound a little proud. Ralph glowed in the same way. "That's what the groundskeeper told me, when I asked him."

"Was it still old Medlock?" Ralph asked.

Jack shook his head, "No, he wasn't there. The new one had no idea as to where he'd gone off to."

"Oh," Ralph nodded.

Jack faded back into his memories, "I remember the train ride away from London. I could see you sitting in your compartment. I had hoped that-" the light that had come in his eyes dimmed, "I had hoped that we could be taken in by the same people, when we got to the country."

A sympathetic smile faded on Ralph's face, his eyes looking a little inspired, "That was nice of you."

Jack looked at him, "I can't say I blame you for not wanting me to come with you." He tried to sound more cheery, "Did your host family treat you well?"

"Adequately, enough," Ralph scratched his head, "I fell out of touch with them, though."

"It was the same for me, but they were good to me while I was with them." Jack recalled.

"It's strange how you can see a person one day," then Ralph's words began to spill out of his mouth, with a stomach turning realization, "and then not see them the next."

Jack read his thoughts, "Like Simon or Piggy."

Ralph grinded his teeth behind his lips to avoid words that could make the situation more uncomfortable. Aside from quietly breathing, the two of them didn't make a sound. Then, Jack lost it. His sobbing was muffled by a clenched jaw and his teary eyes refused to open.

Ralph's eyes widened, unblinkingly burning into Jack. Jack pushed out of his mouth, "I still hated Piggy after he died!"

Ralph felt too drained for anger, "Why?"

Jack met his eyes, but he found the image of Ralph was blurred to him, "He still had you. He still had your love!"

Ralph turned cross at him, "You told me to go away-to keep to my end-the day Piggy died!"

Jack's tears subsided enough for him to make out Ralph's annoyed face a smidge more clearly than before, "Was murdered, you mean. The day I got Piggy murdered."

Ralph countered, as if reading from a history book, "Roger killed Piggy. Not you."

"But he was in my group. If we had stayed united like you wanted to, Piggy would still be alive." His voice broke up, "Simon would still be alive."

Ralph exhaled deeply. He slid his eyes shut, taking another deep breath. Opening his eyes didn't mean he felt better, but Ralph was prepared to string together his thoughts into words, "I don't think we can focus so much on the past. There's so many 'what ifs' for you and me both. If I had chosen to be more of a friend to you-"

Jack's shoulders trembled, "I was cruel, Ralph! You didn't have to show any loyalty to me. There wasn't a reason too." Jack combed his fingers through his own hair, "I should have accepted that I wouldn't be your only friend, but I wanted you for myself. You and Piggy were like brothers." Ralph blinked back tears, choosing to look away from Jack, "I wanted that. Your first concern was always Piggy. I know he had specs and it's my fault the lens fell out on one side. That made me even angrier because every time I knocked him down he still had your friendship."

Silence hung over them, but it was more depressing than uncomfortable. Ralph pulled on the skin of either hands, unsure of how to react.

Jack continued, staring at the table, "You even had Simon, Ralph. The acceptance he offered me wasn't enough. It was you who he reached out too, telling you he didn't believe in the beast."

"He would have comforted you too." Ralph offered.

Jack brought his eyes back up to Ralph's, asking sharply in a quivering voice "Then why didn't he?"

"I don't know." dropped out of Ralph's mouth.

Jack's face looked ready for tears, but his eyes were also hardened by self-hatred, "And will never know because I killed Simon."

"It was an accident, Jack!" Ralph cried desperately.

Tears erupted from Jack's eyes, his shoulders trembling, "That wasn't an accident, Ralph. We set out to kill!"

Ralph gripped the edge of the table, "You didn't know it was Simon, Jack. You thought it was the beast!"

Jack's voice was breaking, "There was no beast, Ralph!"

The pitying look Ralph gave him stung Jack, "You thought there was a beast, Jack. You were only trying to protect everyone from it."

Jack faded back to Simon's death, "I stabbed him so much…. It must have hurt, all those spears being pushed and pulled in and out of his skin…."

"It was an accident." Jack looked worn out by Ralph's words, "You never meant to kill Simon."

Jack averted his eyes, shaking his head. His face scrunched up, then, he cried again, "I killed him, Ralph." His hand slid down from his forehead, masking his eyes, "It's my fault Simon's dead."

Ralph studied him. He could remember Jack leading his chorus in their long black robes, despite the heat. Jack's hostility over Piggy not having to search the island because of his disability, the one Jack gave him by slapping off his glasses. The time that Jack had let the fire out, while he was hunting, returned strongly to Ralph. He had chastised him for letting the plane see no fire and Ralph had thought Jack didn't care about that. Now, he saw it differently.

_**Jack's eyes had shined in to Ralph's, "Look! We killed a pig! We stood up on it! We got in a circle-"**_

_**Ralph didn't share in the excitement. His eyes were narrowed, "You let the fire out!"**_

_**Jack looked over his shoulder, at the pig, "We can light it up again." Ralph followed him over to the pig's body, "You should have been with us, Ralph. There was lots of blood! You should have seen it!"**_

_**Ralph was burning with anger, "There was a plane. There was a plane!" The celebration was stifled, "They might have seen us! We might have gone home!"**_

_**Jack was averting his eyes, but all the others were looking about in different directions. And Jack had messed up. Ralph had the right to be angry. Right? He'd had the right to sneer at Jack. Didn't he?**_

_**Piggy had taken the words out of Ralph's mouth, "You and your blood jag, Merridew! You and your hunting! We might have gone home!"**_

_**Jack had looked away from everyone after that verbal slap, "We needed meat!"**_

Then, Ralph remembered what Jack had said, throwing his slab of meat at Simon. Simon had been generous enough to let Piggy eat his because Jack denied him any.

"_**Eat, damn you!"**_

It crashed down on Ralph that Jack hadn't only been hunting for food, but for his and Simon's acceptance. Hunting for that had proved more difficult. Ralph left his chair, coming to Jack's side. He reached his hand out to touch it, but pulled it back. Words of comfort twisted in and out of his head. The memory of Jack in war paint and holding a spear sharpened for Ralph kept them back.

"What did you want to show me?" entered Jack's ears.

Jack calmed himself down enough to stop shaking and look up at Ralph. He wiped away his own tears, not embarrassed by Ralph seeing them. What did it matter if Ralph saw him cry? There were worse things Ralph could and had seen Jack do.

Jack stood up, glancing at the table, "We should get this cleared away first."

"Alright," Ralph nodded, reaching for his plate.

They cleared away everything on the table, washing them together. Words didn't pass between them, but somehow it seemed natural. Maybe, it was the heaviness of their previous conversations or the sound of the faucet water crashing in their ears. None the less, they were still silent by the time all the dishes were cleared away and Jack was wrapping up the loaf of bread he and Ralph hadn't finished eating.

Ralph took it, without a polite "thank you" because his mouth felt too heavy to move. Jack's jaw felt too heavy for a "you're welcome" anyway. Ralph took the neatly wrapped bread to be dropped back into the brown bag it had come out of.

Jack turned around to find Jack walking by him. "Follow me." he said.

Ralph caught him off guard in a hug, surprising them both.

"It's not you're fault." he stated firmly.

The corners of Jack's mouth began pushing up in a smile and they didn't stop. Then, Jack's mind fell back into the island again. His lips were pulled down. Jack rushed back from Ralph.

He was holding his shirt collar, "I could have killed you, with my spear!"

"Were you going to kill me?" Ralph was drained of fear about it now.

Jack's didn't realize how alarmed his expression was, "No, I-I was only going to try and scare you."

This confession had Ralph point out, "I'm still here, Jack. You didn't kill me. You don't have to feel guilty over what might have happened." His eyes pleaded for Jack to realize the situation. His hand fell on his own chest, "I'm still here, Jack."

Jack nodded. He turned away, "Follow me."

Ralph came with him into a room, where the bed looked like it did when you first came into a hotel room.

"Is this your room?" Ralph inquired.

Jack was opening a drawer by his bed, pulling out a black box, "Yes." That didn't come across as any bit of a shock or surprise to Ralph.

Jack faced him, holding the box gently in two hands. "You may want to sit down." he motioned to the bed.

Ralph obliged, resting on the edge of the tidy bed. He looked up, meeting Jack's weary eyes, "What do you have in there?"

Even though he couldn't see inside, Ralph's stomach dropped with the opening of the lid. What Jack pulled out and handed to him had an icy feeling rush up Ralph's spine.

Ralph turned over Piggy's glasses in the light, examining where the lens used to be.

"They were my trophy." Jack explained, bitterly.

"I had wanted these," Ralph confessed, "to give to Piggy's aunt."

"You met her?" Jack was in a little disbelief.

Ralph looked up at him, "Yes. Before we were all shipped away, I found her living in a little house by herself." Ralph looked apologetic, "Piggy had been living with her in the summers. She held a memorial service for him. It was nice, really."

"Oh. That's good, I guess." Jack replied.

Ralph handed him Piggy's remnants, "Here. You can put them back now."

"You can keep them." Jack offered, pushing them back to Ralph. "I'm giving them to you. I thought you'd like them because you and Piggy were such good friends."

Ralph shook his head, studying his late friend's glasses, "No, I don't want them. It would be too much for me."

"What should we do with them?" Jack inquired.

Ralph looked up into his eyes, "I don't know." His gaze fell back on them, "Throw them away, maybe?"

Jack exhaled deeply, "That might be the best thing to do, after all."

Abandoning conversation was becoming a habit for them. Ralph stroked Piggy's glasses and Jack watched him. However, Jack was oblivious about the tears brimming in Ralph's eyes.

"His name was Edmund." Jack's eyes looked pained by the teary sound in Ralph's voice, "I was supposed to tell you, all of you, that the day we first met. I wasn't supposed to call him Piggy."

"It wouldn't have changed anything, Ralph." Jack tried to assure him in a gentle voice.

Ralph felt unsettled, he met Jack's eyes, "You've changed since we were on the island. You've become more…." Ralph's eyes turned apologetic at Jack's stony face.

Jack huffed, looking away, "I don't know why I'm mad at you. You're right, I do act differently here." He was reluctant to look back at Ralph, saying, "But it's all an act, I'm not really civilized."

Ralph's eyebrows pushed together, "Look at this house, Jack. You could pass it off as a bed and breakfast or something like that."

Jack looked away, shaking his head, "I kept things neat before the island. I thought if I did a better job of it when I came back that I could at least look like I was civilized."

"Oh, Jack!" Ralph released sympathetically.

Jack's eyes were drained of hope, "It could always happen again. I never had a sense for adventure at school, but I let loose on the island. I just stayed close to Roger before that."

"Do you know where he is?" Ralph asked.

"No." Jack was regretful of that. "We never talked after we were rescued." His voice was teary, "I saw him taken away by his host family and I haven't seen him since then." He reflected more to himself, "He looked me dead in the eyes, like he was inviting me some place."

Ralph didn't want to say it, but he told Jack, "Maybe, he killed Piggy for you. He might have known how you felt."

Jack reacted like a ghost had passed through him, his breathing went up in volume, "I never asked him about that. Why he did it. We didn't talk after that. I left Piggy's death unmentioned in my tribe. Roger and I had been getting on well enough before that. It was like how we had been at school together." Jack recalled uncomfortably, blushing, "I used to watch you with him. I wondered who you were and what you were like. I admired your singing."

"Thank you." Ralph's cheeks had also turned red.

Jack's eyes brimmed with tears, "Roger never could find anything out about you, even though he'd always been so good at finding things out at our school."

**(A/N: I read in the book **_**Lost Horizon**_** about a thing called "hero-worship" between British school boys. The book explained it as a younger boy admiring an older one, but I don't know if it always had to follow that rule. So, while some people think there was something homoerotic about Jack and Ralph's relationship, it might have been the author showing what would have actually been heterosexual "hero-worship".) **

"You didn't make him kill Piggy, Jack." Ralph decided without a doubt.

Jack's voice broke up, shoulders bobbing up and down, "That isn't true!" His finger tips rested on his forehead, "He might not have done it if I hadn't-if I hadn't been so focused on you. If I had just paid attention to him at school, on the island things might have went better for us, Ralph."

"It was my fault too." Ralph gave him.

"No, it wasn't, Ralph." Jack told him firmly.

Ralph continued, "I could have been nicer to you."

"I messed up, Ralph." Jack reminded him.

Ralph read his thoughts, "Forget about letting the fire out."

"We could have been rescued sooner and no one would have died, Ralph. Everything would be alright." He confessed, "That's bothered me since the night Simon died. Even now I see him, a little dead body in the ocean. I see Piggy's death too, the rock falling on him and his body being carried away by the same ocean."

Ralph nodded, "I see the same things at night."

Jack breathed heavy again, "I see you too! I see me standing over your corpse, your blood still on my spear!" He shrunk in despair, "I can never believe how happy I look doing it." He turned to Ralph, who was burning his eyes into Piggy's glasses, "It's not how I truly feel, Ralph."

Ralph looked up at him, but he impulsively looked back at Piggy's glasses, "I know that, Jack."

Jack moved his eyes around in thought, "Did you ever-were you afraid of me?"

Ralph reluctantly replied on account of Jack's feeling, "I was only frightened of you the day we were rescued."

"Did you know I sharpened my spear for you?" Jack inquired.

Ralph answered, "Yes. Sam and Eric warned me about that."

Quiet tears slid down Jack's face, "I was only going to try and frighten you and try to get you in my tribe, with me….as the leader."

"Over the years, I've guessed as much." Ralph said.

Jack didn't want to know, but he forced him self to ask, "What were you thinking that day?"

Jack didn't turn away from Ralph's eyes this time. Ralph's eyes begged him to retract the question, but Jack's expression wished painfully for the opposite.

"I thought you might actually kill me," rolled off of Ralph's tongue.

Jack tried to keep the pain off his face, pulling away his eyes again, "I can't blame you for thinking that."

Ralph kept his begging eyes on the back Jack's head, "Jack, please, look at me."

"Forget it, Ralph." it was evident he was crying.

The way he spoke snapped Ralph's heart, causing him to suddenly cry as quietly as the day they were rescued. He rested Piggy's glasses on Jack's pillow, getting up slowly. Something burdened and relieved Ralph, like an ocean wave sweeping on and off him on a hot day.

Ralph grabbed the opportunity by the horns, once again hugging Jack by surprise. It was still a shock to Jack. He started to pry Ralph's arms off of him.

"Don't pull away this time." Ralph begged, with a touch of firmness.

He could feel one of Ralph's hands pressing on the back of his head and the other arm wrapped around his shoulder. Jack hadn't hugged him back because it seemed strange that in a moment his past school boy self craved, he was left feeling confused.

Jack was reluctant to question the moment, but he didn't hesitate, "Ralph, why are you treating me this way?"

Ralph confessed, "I haven't forgiven you," Jack's Adam's apple locked in place, "but I'm not exactly mad at you either."

Jack took this in, choosing it the best time to cautiously bring his arms around Ralph. He placed one arm around his shoulders, stroking Ralph's hair with his free hand. He was only using his fingertips to touch his hair, but Ralph could feel him doing it. Ralph didn't blink. As for Jack, victory still wasn't rising up in him, the moment felt bitter sweet.

"I'll take you to see Sam and Eric now."

Ralph departed slowly from Jack, "Thank you."

Jack felt disappointed not because the moment was ending, but because even with all that had been said and done it didn't feel like anything was different. Ralph felt the same way, while watching him put Piggy's glasses back in the box and into the drawer.

Wordlessly, they strolled out of Jack's room together, through the house, and out the door, purposely without Ralph's bags. They still weren't speaking when they slid in to the car and they didn't start up a conversation when Jack drove it away from his silent hotel worthy (rented) house. Even with all the tension begging to be cracked, they fell into their new habit of keeping everything locked behind their lips.


	5. It's No Good

_Morecambe, England_

The streets had grown more crowded, since Jack and Ralph had first been out. Ralph didn't blink, taking in every detail of the shops they passed.

"There it is." Jack's announcement had Ralph's heart jolting.

Ralph got out of the car, looking ready to cry about the store's name: _The Beast in You: The Finest Alcohol in Morecambe!_

He turned to Jack, who admitted, "I felt the same way, when I first saw it."

Ralph pushed his mouth up and down, "They really haven't forgotten, then?"

Jack touched the cuts under his eyes, "No, they haven't."

Ralph felt the need to comfort him, but Jack was moving forward. Eric saw him first, from behind the counter. He had been dealing with a man in a light blue suit.

Sam came out of the back room, charging towards Jack, "You need to leave here, Merridew!"

"We already made that clear the last time!" his brother added.

The man in the light blue suit told Eric, "I don't have all day, just throw the fellow out and be done with it!"

Before anyone could respond to that, Ralph spoke, "Would you wait a moment?" He stepped out from behind Jack, "We were hoping to talk to you both."

Eric's reaction fell out in disbelief, "Ralph."

Sam added on to it, "It's been a long time."

Ralph nodded, "It has."

The man in the light blue suit checked his watch, snapping it shut, "I have somewhere very important to be!"

Eric shoved a brown bag at him, "Here you go!" He sharply displayed a piece of paper, "Here's your receipt," coins rained out of his palm, "and your change."

"Thank you." the man said briskly, raising his eye brows. He stormed out past Ralph, whom Jack tugged out of the man's way.

Eric left his post to join them at the front of the store, by the shelves of wine bottles. He wiped his hands on his apron, without dirtying it, "What brings you here, Ralph? What nonsense did," he motioned his chin at Jack, "he tell you to get you to bring him along?"

Ralph's eyes fell away from them, "We had been catching up…"

"He told you he was sorry, then?" Sam assured him, "It's alright, Ralph. He told us the same thing."

"All lies of course." Eric had his hands folded in front of his chest, staring down Jack.

"That's enough!" Ralph decided, to everyone's surprise. Jack, who'd been looking away from them, turned to Ralph. He listened, trying to find any underlying sub meaning to Ralph's words, "Jack didn't lie. He really is sorry."

"Sorry he didn't kill you!" Sam said.

Jack's eyes were watering, "I wasn't-"

Fire raged in the twins narrowed eyes. Sam was shaking his head, "Don't tell me you weren't going to kill him, Merridew!" Ralph didn't jump to Jack's defense. He lost his nerve for it because of the childlike manor Jack was reverted back too. Even the way he opened his mouth to speak wasn't very adult, more like a kid trying to talk himself out of trouble. Sam cut him off before he got a word out, "You were going to kill Ralph that day!"

Eric pleaded with Ralph, "He said he was going after you, Ralph. Even you believed that, when we told you." Jack's eyes fell away again, but Ralph watched him. Something didn't feel right about letting this go on.

"He was only going to try and scare me." Ralph burned his eyes into Jack, refusing to blink. It was like he thought any break in eye contact could jinx his attempt to have Jack look at him.

Anger faded off of Eric's face, being swapped for concern, "Ralph, Jack held that spear in front of all of us-"

"Saying it was for you." Sam was also on a mission to make Jack meet his raging eyes.

Ralph spoke from his heart, moving his eyes back and forth from either twin, "Jack never meant to do anything wrong." He eyed Jack again, "Did you, Jack?"

"No." Jack still wasn't looking at any of them.

"Don't give us that, Merridew!" Sam scanned him up and down, like Jack was something vile. "You told Ralph you didn't mean to kill Simon that night!" He added bitterly, "But then you told all of us about how the beast had crawled over to us in disguise."

Terror stained Eric's eyes, "Were you even aware Simon died?"

Ralph slid his eyelids down, feeling his heart torn over the agony he didn't want to know Jack was in.

Sam shook his head like a judge for a criminal lying about his innocence, "You never cared about anyone but yourself, let alone Simon."

"I loved Simon!" exploded out of Jack's mouth.

Sam and Eric were dumbstruck by his tears. They were real, no crocodile tears seeping out. Ralph still had his eyes closed on his grimacing face. But a moment's thought changed Sam and Eric's feelings about Jack.

The twins shoved him hard against the wall. Ralph snapped his eyes open, letting them settle on Jack crouching away from Sam and Eric. Ralph slid in front of Jack, becoming the target for Sam and Eric's shoes.

"Sorry, Ralph!" they said together.

Ralph twisted his face over the throbbing pain in both shins, "That's alright. You didn't mean to." He forced himself to look normal, stressing, "Please, don't hurt Jack. He's been through a lot today."

The twin's matching eyes narrowed in disbelief. "When did the two of you become such good friends?" Sam asked.

"Were not friends." stumbled out of his mouth. Jack's mouth dropped down, while Ralph felt torn apart by regret and pride.

"What's going on?" they all turned their attention to the door leading for the back room. In the archway stood an emerald eyed woman, her thick brown hair piled back in a bun. She had a serious no nonsense demeanor about her that made Ralph and Jack want to say, "I ate all my vegetables."

Sam told Ralph, "This is my wife." Ralph felt a little alarmed about meeting the woman who had so cleanly etched out Jack's face.

She came beside her husband, extending a surprisingly slender hand for someone one who Ralph knew could be as violent as a man at a bar fight, "I'm Shannon."

Ralph took her hand, feeling a little tremble surge through him, "I'm Ralph. It's nice to meet you."

She smiled, reading his thoughts, "You don't need to be scared of me." She pointed her chin at Jack, scorn pouring through her eyes, "It's him who should be worried about starting up my temper." Sam smiled proudly at her.

"He's not that bad anymore." Ralph decided, but he was shamed by how weakly Jack heard it come out.

Shannon looked bored, but sympathetic, "You're so convinced of that."

Another woman rushed in the room, crashing her hip into the arch way. She took it well, barely grimacing.

"Are you alright?" Eric sounded panicked. Ralph understood why he was like that with his wife. Her skinny frame looked ready to fall apart. She had blonde waves, hanging freely about her shoulders.

"I'm fine." She interlocked her long fingers in front of her apron. She took in the situation fearfully, "I'm Margaret. You can call me Margie."

"It's nice to meet you." he tried to keep his voice soft. "I'm Ralph."

She did a double take, stretching her thin lips out in a shinning smile. She broke free from her hesitation, walking towards the group, "It really is a pleasure to meet you!" Eric sent a sentimental smile her way she didn't see.

Her shoulders jumped up to her ears, falling back down with her mouth. Margie's eyes regained their fear, looking to everyone for an explanation, "What's he doing here?"

Unspoken apologies were given to her from Eric's eyes, while extending his arm, "He came here with Ralph." She slid under his arm, wrapping an arm around her husband's waste.

Ralph thought the expression she had on Jack was like someone seeing Jack the Ripper. "He's not as bad as he was in your husband's stories." Ralph tried to persuade her, hoping to gain someone on his side.

Margie didn't blink, "He was going to kill you."

Ralph felt unsettled by a stranger labeling Jack guilty, "I thought the same thing," his heart twisted in agony with Jack's, "for many years, until-until…"

"What could possibly make you trust him?" she asked, her eyes as frightened as Eric's.

Ralph offered, "He said he was sorry."

"That doesn't make everything alright, Ralph!" Eric stressed.

Ralph nodded his agreement. "But it's a start." he decided. Margie considered this.

"He's lying." Sam spoke from his heart.

"Well, what did he do when he first came to see you?" Ralph snapped.

Sam was caught off guard by Ralph's anger, "He came in, asking if we knew where you were."

Ralph clenched his eyes shut. He had always read books, where a description of someone's heart slicing was a description of pain. However, he didn't know how physically painful emotions could strike his heart. It really felt like his heart was cut open, spilling out the blood that gave it life.

His eyes opened, feeling angry and upset. He pulled Jack up, "You can stand up now." Jack met his gaze, but left it fast. He felt too embarrassed by what Sam recalled him having done.

Jack swung his eyes between Sam and Eric's wives, "Hello." He dropped his gaze on the floor.

Sam harped on Ralph, "What's next? You're going to see Roger and listen to him apologize over Piggy's death." It was Ralph's turn to look away.

Shannon and Eric turned their shocked eyes on Sam, while Margie kept searching Jack. "Sam, calm down." Shannon was the only one brave enough to advise her husband.

Sam poured his pain into her eyes, "You weren't there. You didn't see your friends killed. You didn't help kill one of them."

"It was an accident." she told him in a way that let Ralph and Jack know this conversation had occurred before.

"_**It wasn't…what you said." Piggy had told Ralph, not completely convinced himself. Ralph slammed his forehead against his knees. "It was an accident." he had added in Ralph's ear.**_

Ralph felt regret press down on his shoulders, "I should have listened to Piggy…."

"What?" Eric asked for clarification.

Ralph forced himself to sound stronger, "Piggy didn't blame Jack or anybody." Ralph nodded his agreement to Piggy's memory, "He decided it was an accident. And he was right." that last part was heavy with guilt, stemming from the conversation he'd had in Jack's room.

Sam pointed out, "You think Jack seems so nice, but it was the same for me and Eric on the island. Jack played with us at times and he seemed alright, like an older brother."

Jack showed them his strained eyes, "I'm sorry for what I did."

"That won't bring back Simon!" the twins shouted.

"I know!" Jack cried out. "I can't bring him back and I can't bring Piggy back!" Jack's eyes glistened, "It should have been me dead-"

"No, it shouldn't have!" Ralph decided. "No one should have died on that island!" He held Jack's arm's tightly, forcing him to meet his pleading gaze, "Jack, I-" Jack's eyes widened by his expectations.

"You're like children." came Margie's soft voice. They all focused on her, sparking a little stage fright. She pressed on, "You need find that Roger fellow."

Sam pulled away from the group, storming over to the back door, "I won't talk to him. Merridew, get out and don't come back! Ralph, you can stay if you want."

"Maybe, we should go see him, Sam." Eric suggested.

Sam turned around, extending his arm towards Margie, "You're just saying that because she's your wife!"

"It could give you closure." Margie spoke cautiously.

Sam's eyes fell to the floor, "You weren't there."

Margie stood tall, speaking with strength that didn't match her body, "But I'm here for Eric's nightmares! I'm here to wake up to him screaming!"

Eric grabbed his temples, "Margie!"

She turned to him, eyebrows pushed closer together, "It's not like Sam doesn't know! You don't think Ralph or Mr. Merridew have nightmares?" She snapped her attention to them, "Do either of you sleep well most nights?"

Jack shook his head, pain running through his eyes, "No." Margie looked sad for him, but couldn't come up with a message comforting enough.

She turned to Ralph, "What about you?"

He was looking at Jack, "I don't. I haven't slept well since the day we were rescued." Jack stopped avoiding his eyes, offering an apologetic stare. Margie felt bad over the guilt she saw build up in Ralph's expression.

Margie spun on her heel to face Sam, "You need closure. It doesn't do well to have this kind of thing bottled up."

Shannon added, "It might be better if you did finally deal with it, Sam."

Sam's eyes begged her to relinquish her statement, but she wouldn't budge. He looked around at the bottles of wine. "Fine." he gave in, reluctantly.

Eric went over to him, dropping a hand on his shoulder, "It scares me too." Sam didn't say anything, but showed him his pained expression. Sam nodded.

Margie took a deep breath, "Mr. Merridew seems alright." She looked him dead in the eyes, "I didn't know you then, but you don't seem like a killer now." She turned to Ralph, "You forgave him and you seem sane enough to make proper judgment." Ralph gave her a sad half smile, like Jack had done.

Shannon instructed, "There are telephone books in our flat upstairs. We'll all need to look through them." Margie was the only one who looked untroubled by the task as her.

* * *

They sat around the long wooden table where Sam, Eric, Shannon, and Margie ate their meals together. Their flat was nicely furnished and clean, but looked more occupied than Jack's rented summer home. A magazine had been left opened on the couch. A forgotten glass of milk had to be cleaned, when they got up there. Eric had found a dish towel on the floor, dropping it off in the hamper.

Jack's eyebrows sunk, "What if he doesn't live in Britain any more?"

Ralph tore his eyes off the page he was on, remembering all that Jack had said about his friendship with Roger, "We could do a more excessive search for him." Jack tried to smile, but it came out looking sad.

No one noticed Margie's mouth push up, raising her rosy cheeks. She reached in back of her on, picking up a pen and note pad off a small table the phone was on. She copied something off the page she was reading, holding her finger to the information she needed. Her book slammed shut, prompting everyone to look over at her triumphant smile.

"I found an address with his name." she announced, getting up.

"What if it's not him?" Shannon asked.

Margie pushed in her chair, "It's not like that many people are going to have that last name."

**(A/N: "It's not like that many people are going to have that last name."-That's such a sitcom joke.)**

Shannon got up, curious about why Margie was grinning so wide. Sam and Eric glanced at each other, then at Ralph. Ralph was the only one who met Jack's eyes.

"Come on." Shannon said, leaving the room with Margie. They all got up, procrastinating by slowly pushing their chairs back in.

Margie popped back in the room, "You might want to remember that in fourteen years people change. You were all kids then. Mr. Merridew-"

He finally spoke to her, "You can call me Jack."

She knew Sam and Eric wouldn't like her to agree to it, but Jack reminded her of a little boy. "Jack changed. Roger could be different too." she offered up a little smile.

No one gave her an argument. Sam rolled his eyes, but he kept quiet. Ralph burned his eyes into Jack, until he cracked under the pressure and showed Ralph his troubled expression. Eric exchanged a quick closed mouth smile with his wife, but she knew he didn't completely believe her idea. However, a quick glance at the address forced her cheeks to reach up high.


	6. Personal Jesus

Huge, dark wooden doors offered people a way into the pearly white church's pews in front of a heavily polished altar. It also had a little gold cross on the roof, reflecting sunlight. The church held the attention of Margie, Shannon, Sam, and Eric. Fortunately, the road wasn't busy and Sam's lack of focus on driving wasn't as big of a problem as it could have been.

Sam scoffed, "He lives right near a church!"

Eric's eyebrows pulled to together, "He used to go to chapel with us." He was starting to shake, salt water blurring his vision, "But he still ended up killing Piggy."

His tears spilled out at the same time Margie touched one of his trembling shoulders, "Being near a church gives him more opportunities to be good."

Eric's eyebrows formed slides to ears, "Going to our school's chapel didn't stop him from killing Piggy."

Shannon squinted at Margie struggling to keep her mouth clenched shut. Margie's demeanor struck her as needing silence, not an investigation. But her lack of knowledge was frustrating, shifting her around in her seat.

"You don't need to be worried." a slight quiver ran through Sam's voice. "We'll have Ralph on our side in there. He's escaped Jack before."

Margie's eyes held a look of sympathy and guilt that had Shannon's imagination on full force. Margie rubbed Eric's shoulder, while he spoke with a slight quiver vibrating his words, "I'm sure he could get us away from him and Roger."

Margie felt guilty about dropping her news on him, "Shannon and I are staying in the car."

"I'm going inside!" Shannon decided.

Margie burned her eyes into her, using them to beg her allegiance, "We're not apart of this."

"I married Sam. You married Eric. How are we not apart of this?" she yelled, holding a disbelieving stare on Margie.

"We could use you both in there, if something goes wrong." Sam said, feeling ready to vomit over the worse case scenarios. "We want you in there any way. Right, Eric?"

Eric turned his teary eyes on his wife, "Please, come with us."

Margie felt her heart pulled on by Eric's desperation, but she forced out quicker than a retraction formed in her mind, "You need to go without us!"

Shannon sat up straight, "You don't make decisions for me! I don't want to be waiting hear, worrying about my husband's and your husband's safety!"

Sam consoled his wife, "Let her wait in the car, if she wants. At least it's still four against two."

"Jack's on our side!" Margie reminded him, snapping her head around.

"We don't know that for sure!" Sam's tone was hostile.

Eric's imagination had him shaking more, "They could have planned it together. They might still want to kill Ralph and maybe us too because we knew Jack wanted to kill him back on the island!"

"He's not a killer!" Margie decided, silencing the rest of the car. She didn't get even a trace of stage fright from being the main focus this time, "I know I wasn't there on the island with you, but I think that Ralph's right and Jack's actually sorry for what he did!"

Eric was shaking his head, "We don't know if Roger's sorry." He added, looking around at everyone, "He didn't come to see us. At least, Jack has that much on his side."

Margie wasn't even stumped for a second by what Eric said, "Maybe, he's scared that you won't listen." She nodded at Shannon, "I understand why Jack might have been second time around."

Shannon reflected, "He didn't deny what Sam and Eric told us about him. Ralph didn't either."

"But Ralph's giving him a chance." Margie pointed out, hoping to gain an ally.

Shannon saw through it, forming her expression to look bored, "I'm going in with my husband, and yours!"

"They need to go alone!" pushed out of Margie's thin lips.

Sam pulled in front of Roger's modest two story home, colored in the shade of the sky. "I'm not pulling in the drive way." He looked in the back seat, "Margie, since you'll be in here, come sit up front and leave the car running."

"Fine." snapped out of her, before she got out of the car. Everyone else followed her out. Sam, Shannon, and Margie released anger by slamming their doors, but Eric wasn't up for aggression. He wiped the tears out of his eyes, leaving them feeling raw.

Jack's car was a little farther down, a perfect distance for Jack and Ralph to see their argument on mute.

"Maybe, they've changed their minds." Jack sighed.

Ralph turned his head sharply, but his voice was soft, "I haven't. I'll go with you."

"Why are you on my side?" Jack regretted the question as soon as he let it out. "Never mind." he added quickly. "I'm glad you're here at least."

Ralph had been going over Jack's question in his head. The corners of his lips pushed up, "Couldn't let you do it on your own."

**(A/N: Jack said that to Ralph, during the part of the movie they were exploring the part of the island where "the rocks pile up".)**

They chuckled together, even though a barrier still stood between them. It was thin and flimsy, swaying in the slightest breeze. But something unspoken hung over them. They fell silent, watching the strips of sun and shadows slipping over Jack's car. Jack turned to Ralph, ready to speak at the same time. They both relinquished, turning their eyes down the street on Margie, Shannon, Sam, and Eric.

Ralph reflected, "You were glad to have been the only one to come after me, that day we searched over where the rocks pile up."

Jack explained, "Simon," cracked the steady rhythm of his voice, "told me I should do it. He said….he said…." His eyes blinked back tears, "He said, 'Ralph probably doesn't want to be alone. He might like it if _you_ went up there with him.'."

"I did." He remembered, "I never thanked you properly for that."

"You don't owe me anything, Ralph." Jack stopped the car. Ralph didn't correct him, but inwardly he felt like he should object.

He remained silent as they got out of the car and on their walk over too the twins and their wives.

"They should be doing this alone!" Margie screamed at Shannon.

Sam asked her, "Why can't you just stay in the car, then?" He met Shannon's eyes, "I want her in there, with me."

Margie promised him, "You'll be fine without us!"

"We thought we'd be alright, when were shipwrecked!" Sam confessed to her.

Eric cupped her shoulder, pulling her eyes into his pleading stare, "Won't you come with us, Margie?"

Sympathy pulled on her heart for him, but her head moved side to side, "I can't help you with this, Eric."

Shannon snapped, "Let her stay out here, then!" She turned away from them, planning to walk down the long drive way that was always a nuisance when it came to shovel off snow or rake up leaves.

Margie grabbed her arm, sounding desperate, "Please, wait here!"

Shannon ripper her arm out of Margie's hand, burning her eyes into her, "Margie, just stay in the car, if you want!"

"What's going on?" Jack asked. He'd come over with Ralph, who looked just as perplexed by the situation.

"Margie wants us to wait in the car!" Shannon explained impatiently.

Jack swung his eyes over to Margie, "You can come with us."

Ralph's eyes pleaded, "We'd prefer it that way."

Margie bobbed on her heels in frustration, "You need to do this alone. You'll be fine."

Something clicked in Shannon's brain, making her pull Margie away from the group. Sam, Eric, Ralph, and Jack watched their conversation, with the volume off. Margie's mouth buzzed out information ending with a shocked expression on Shannon. She didn't say anything to Margie, but walked over to the others.

"I'm staying out here with Margie." she announced.

Sam shook his dismayed face, "Shannon, I need you."

Jack, Ralph, and Eric thought his tone of voice would have persuaded her back on their side. He sounded like a scared little boy.

Guilt poured through her eyes, "I'm sorry, Sam. Margie's right, you do need to do this alone." Margie had come by her side, "There may be things said in there," she swept her gaze over them, "that none of you, including Roger, might want us to know about."

She looked her husband straight in the eyes, "Sam, I don't believe husbands and wives should keep secrets from each other, but Margie and I weren't on that island. We don't know exactly what you went through."

"Eric and I told you both what happened!" his voice was vibrating from the tears stuck in his eyes.

She closed her eyelids, failing to silence her regret, "We didn't experience it." Her eyelids slid back up, "We can never fully understand this."

His eyes and mouth felt heavy, "You're really not coming with us?"

The childlike way he spoke to her didn't pull out sympathy this time. She stood tall, gaining strength, "No, it's not our place."

Sam was going to try and persuade her again, but her mind was made up. His eyes drooped under pain, watching her climb back into the car with Margie.

He turned back to the others, "I guess there not coming."

"I just thought of it." Eric held their focus, "There isn't any car. Maybe, he's not home."

Jack's mouth fell in a line, "We can wait for him."

Sam decided impatiently, "I am not waiting around for him!" He added, "This isn't the island, Jack! You're not chief anymore! You don't get to call the shots!"

Jack's eyes lowered, "I know I'm not chief anymore." He stifled tears, "I'll wait for him alone, then."

Sam's eyes scorned Jack, but Eric pushed out his anger first, "Don't waste your tears on us, Jack."

"Shut up!" Ralph broke in the conversation. Sam and Eric were stunned, "You've been giving Jack nothing but grief since we cam to see you both!"

Eric squinted his eyes, "Why are you on his side now, Ralph?"

Sam played off his brother's question, "Don't you even remember Piggy dying?" Margie had just opened the car door to tell them to get a move on, but she didn't speak.

Silence stilled the men. Eric sent a shocked stare at his brother, while Jack tensed up for what he expected as Ralph's resignation as one of his defenders.

Sam didn't blink his widened eyes, "I'm sorry, Ralph."

Ralph was glaring at him, but tears were threatening to come and he turned away. "I'll go knock on the door. If he's not there we can ask one of his neighbors where he's gone." Ralph set on down the drive way.

Jack caught up to him, "Couldn't let you do it on your own."

Ralph sensed his awkwardness, feeling pity for him, "At least they sopped addressing you as Merridew."

"Does that really mean anything?" His mouth twitched up in a smile, "Other than being the kind of rhyme Mr. Dashwood would have scolded you in front of the class for."

"You had him too?" Ralph asked, smiling a little.

"Yes." Jack confirmed. "He caned me so hard, once. I stood up for the rest of class."

The two of them breathed out laughter. Ralph recalled, "He caned me too."

Jack's disbelief came through in his voice, "What could you have done?"

"I was passing notes…." he hesitated, but shook it off, feeling stupid for holding it back or letting it out, "….with Piggy."

Jack turned away from him, "I'm sorry, Ralph."

Ralph's eyes closed and opened, "Stop saying sorry."

"I would have been mad if you had killed Roger." Jack confessed.

"You should tell him that if he invites us in." Ralph suggested.

"I'm not expecting forgiveness, Ralph." he admitted solemnly. "From him or you."

Sadness hung in Ralph's eyes, "Don't talk like that, Jack."

They started down the little walkway, leading to the front door, "You don't forgive me." His voice quivered, but he didn't let his tears even build up,"I'm sorry."

"I told you to stop saying that!" Ralph snapped. Jack kept his lips plastered together. Ralph saw him struggling not to speak, when he took a glance at him that turned into an apologetic stare, "Jack-"

"You don't need to apologize, Ralph." He saw Ralph open his mouth again, "Not to me!"

His eyes were like a beggar's, "Jack, it's just-"

They stopped outside the unpainted wooden door, with a divided half-circle window allowing them to peek in at the white walled inside. Jack instructed, "Just knock on the door." His voice was mixing anger and pain. Ralph took a step forward, but Jack moved him ahead of him, "You don't have to do what I say." He gave three hard knocks, before falling back into place beside Ralph, "Sam's right, I'm not chief anymore. You were never in my tribe, anyway."

Ralph whipped his head around, "Jack-"

"Hello." a woman's voice had Ralph look back at the door. The woman had thick fiery hair, falling a little past her shoulders, and sparkling kaleidoscope eyes searching them both, "We've been waiting for you to come to the door."

She added after their glance at each other, "I looked out the window and saw your cars pull up." She gave an awkward half smile, "You all looked pretty heated out there. Long drive, I guess." She looked down, rubbing the back of her swan like neck.

"Are you married to Roger?" Ralph asked.

She popped her head up, eyes bulging like a cartoon. Her cheeks blushed pink, "No, of course not!" Jack and Ralph's unblinking stares of fear, pulled out of her, "You don't know who he is, do you?"

"Is he married to someone else?" Jack asked.

Her eyebrows pulled together over her genuinely shock eyes, "No."

Something strange crept over Ralph that made him feel stupid for asking, "He's single then?"

She nodded, completely shocked by what they didn't know, "He is."

"What's your name?" Jack suddenly thought to ask her.

She turned to him, lifting her eyebrows. They settled, giving energy to a shy smile, "Oh, I should have greeted you more properly."

Jack mirrored her embarrassment, "No, I-It's alright."

Her gratitude showed in her sparkling grin, "I'm Gloria Edgemont." She shrugged her shoulders, shortening her grin, "I'm actually not married to anyone."

"Oh," Jack said. Ralph eyed him, swearing the corners of Jack's lips were pushing up. Then, he found himself smiling over the unblinking eye contact between Gloria and Jack.

She came out of her trance reluctantly, "I should go. He mentioned he knew you two and," she craned her neck to get a look at Sam and Eric, "the others as boys. I'm sure you all have lots of catching up to do." She was too cheery to know what had happened, pleasing Jack.

Ralph was too focused on his glowing pride for Jack's crush to notice. They agreed with her by nodding. She stepped past them, "Bye. I'll tell your friends that he's home." She added over her shoulder, "I hope I'll be seeing you two again!"

"I'm sure we will." Jack told her.

He turned back to Ralph, who was scanning him up and down. Jack's mouth spread as wide as Ralph's, "What is it?"

Ralph asked, "You fancy her, don't you?"

His cheeks were tinted pink, "She's very nice."

Ralph shook his head, but grinned, "Let's go."

Despite the harsh atmosphere of the day, they both felt like normal school boys again. This feeling carried them into the house and down the front hall, over to the interlocking white tiled kitchen and beige living room.

Seeing Roger, locking his fingers together nervously, brought reality crashing down on them. Now, Jack understood why Ralph had reacted on impulse when they first met up. They saw the ocean pulling Piggy's body away in Roger's face.

"Jack." Roger breathed out. His inner school boy celebrated, but tears built up in his adult eyes. Ralph felt guilty over the disappointed way he noted, "And Ralph."

Jack had like hearing his name in Roger's mouth, but time had built up a barrier for easy flowing conversation. As a boy, Roger had been interested in music and unsolved mysteries. Was he still interested in exchanging theories about Jack the Ripper or spending hours listening to the radio?

Ralph racked his brain for dialogue, "Sam and Eric are here too. They're outside. Gloria said she'd send them in."

Roger wasn't blinking, nodding. Jack regained his attention, letting out hoarsely, "You're a priest."

* * *

Gloria watched over her shoulder, sighing relief after Sam and Eric closed the front door. She clicked her pumps against the road; coming up to the car Margie and Shannon were in.

She tapped lightly on the glass. Shannon opened it, giving her a suspicious stare down, that was always breaking kids coming into to steal liqour, "What is it?"

"I know about the island." she said. Shannon cocked an eyebrow, parting her mouth slightly.

Margie was serene, "Oh?"

Gloria shrugged sadly, "I know about the death." She closed her eyes a moment. They opened regretfully, "About the murder."

Shannon leaned back against her seat, exhaling deeply. Fear swirled around in Margie's eyes.

* * *

Eric trailed after Sam, but they both unhinged their jaws at the same time. Sam blurted out, "How are you a priest?"

"It's my calling." Roger answered in a small voice, shame dragging down his eyes.

Sam and Eric settled on the same thought, lunging towards a frightened Roger. Ralph jumped in front of him, stretching out his arms.

"We need to talk!" he pleaded.

Sam pointed to Roger, "He needs a beating!"

"He's a priest!" Ralph reminded him.

Eric spoke to Roger over Ralph's shoulder, "There's a rule about not killing people! Broke that one, didn't you?"

Roger's eyes had Jack thinking of the little boy (many years before the island) who used to crawl in bed with him when it thundered.

"_**Is there something coming to get us?" Jack would wake up, finding a wide eyed five year old Roger by his bed.**_

"_**No, of course not," Jack would assure him. "We're alright. Now, go back to sleep."**_

_**Roger's lower lips pushed out, "May, I sleep in your bed?" **_

_**Pity filled Jack's heart, "Yes, alright. You can stay here."**_

_**He raised his teddy bear up, waving its paw, "May, Teddy stay to? He won't take up much room. I promise he won't."**_

_**Jack gave in, lifting his covers, "Teddy can stay too."**_

_**A silly smile popped on Roger's mouth, while he rushed into bed. He threw his arms around Jack, smashing his lips against his cheek. What had Jack laughing was the way Roger touched Teddy's mouth to the same spot.**_

_**Jack stifled his amusement, "We mustn't get to loud." He tickled Roger's stomach, pulling high pitched hyena laughs out of them both, "Medlock might here us."**_

_**Jack pulled his hands away, kissing Roger on the forehead. Roger's cheeks shot up to his eyes because of the importance he knew or thought he had in Jack's heart. Jack pressed on the younger boy's upper arm, getting Roger to lye down. They faced each other, leaving Jack feeling flattered by the adoring stare Roger held for him.**_

"_**You need to go to sleep." a smile tugged hard on Jack's lips. **_

"_**Tomorrow's Saturday." Roger insisted.**_

_**The little pout on Roger's lips pulled on Jack's heartstrings, but he knew better than to let the younger boy stay up late. No doubt, Roger would be cranky from lack of sleep the next day, if Jack did.**_

_**Jack picked up Teddy, placing him face down on the pillow. "See?" he asked. "Teddy's gone to sleep."**_

_**Roger's eyebrows looked like slides to his ears, while picking up his soft toy, "He can't sleep like that," Jack was awestruck by the gentle way he slid Teddy under the sheets, on his back, "he'll die from lack of air."**_

_**Jack humored him, stroking his hair, "You love Teddy, don't you?" The silly, adoring smile was back on Roger's face before Jack had said anything.**_

"_**I love you too." he patted Jack's shoulder.**_

_**Jack couldn't help but smile over Roger's serious demeanor and his genuine affection, "I love you, Roger."**_

_**Roger opened his jaw wide, excitedly. Jack mimicked his expression, cracking them both up. Not even the blaring thunder silenced them.**_

Sam and Eric charged toward Roger, but Ralph moved in front of him. Ralph fell backward under the twins' weight, concerning Roger, who'd tried to catch him "Ralph!" Ralph was to shaken up to answer.

Jack instinctively ran, pushing Sam and Eric away, "Leave Roger alone!" Roger's throat locked in his breath. He watched Ralph comfortably accept help up from Jack. The corners of Roger's mouth twitched up, dropping as quickly as they had.

Ralph was still hanging on to Jack, feeling a little dizzy, "You agreed to be civil here!"

Sam's pointed his dagger eyes at Roger, motioning towards him, "That's before I knew he was a priest!"

Eric added to Roger, "You don't become a priest after what you did!"

Roger's mouth quivered, but his volume was off. Jack said, "He can be a priest if he wants!"

"Your friend's a devil's disciple!" Eric accused.

**(A/N: "Your friend's a devil's disciple!"-I cringe at how backwards that sounds. It also doesn't seem to fit in Eric's mouth, but it moved along the chapter.)**

"He's a priest!" Ralph stressed.

Sam told Jack, "He's still your friend!"

"He's-" Jack swallowed in his words.

Ralph saw Roger's eyes begging him to agree with what Sam said. Jack dropped his eyes from Sam and Eric, a clean light wood floor entering his path of vision. He looked over at Roger, who sadly snapped his eyes down. Jack followed their path. Ralph wore a distressed expression, while he felt hallowed out.

"Ralph, how can you even side with him?" Eric asked, turning all eyes heads on him. "He killed Piggy!"

"Did you even tell your congregation that?" Sam asked, ready for a "no" to slide out Roger's mouth.

"Yes, I did." Roger breathed out.

Sam nodded smugly at Jack, "That means he told them about you."

Roger and Ralph saw Jack's eyes close on a contorted face. Ralph felt pity for him, but his vibrating mouth didn't speak. Guilt hung in Roger's eyes.

"I didn't tell them your name." he assured Jack. Ralph moved his head to see Roger, a little surprised by his ongoing loyalty for Jack. Jack met Roger's eyes, using them to ask what his mouth couldn't, _Why?_

"What did you tell them?" Eric spat out, like cold left over pasta.

**(A/N: "….like cold left over pasta"-I've tasted that before. Seriously, it's awful.)**

Roger turned back to the twins, locking his fingers together. He was bent, like a humble servant giving a little bow, "I told them how I pushed the rock that killed Piggy."

"His name was Edmund." Ralph corrected, not blinking his drained eyes. Jack and Roger turned to him, but he met only Roger's eyes.

"I didn't know." Roger apologetically admitted.

Ralph nodded, "That was my fault. I'm the one who introduced him to you all as 'Piggy'." He further explained, "I wasn't supposed to let you all call him that."

Roger offered him, "It's not your fault. Our," he flicked his eyes at Jack, but they both had to pull away, "group would have found another way to," his voice was hard from internalized guilt, "bully him."

"I know." Honesty shined in Ralph's eyes, like it had since Jack first noticed him at school and had an emotional tug-of-war with him on the island. "Jack told me that."

A feeling of betrayal brought Roger's eyebrows closer, "You've had time to talk about this?"

Ralph glanced at Jack, but he kept eying at the floor. Ralph hurriedly let out, "We only met up today." Roger followed his gaze over to Jack, but Ralph kept speaking, "Jack wanted to find you."

"Margie wanted us to find him!" Eric snapped.

Ralph looked over at him, using his eyes to beg him to stop. Roger hadn't stopped looking at Jack. Eric's tone was enough to know that he was telling the truth, instead of confirming it through eye contact.

Roger shrunk his bones together, trembling. A tear missed his cheek, landing directly on the floor. Jack saw it before Roger asked him, "Didn't you think of me?"

Sam straightened his neck, relaxing his eyebrows, "What exactly did you tell your congregation about your part on the island?"

A childish wish for all the drama to disappear pulled down Roger's eyelids, but reality brought them back up, "I told them how we all killed Simon because it was nightfall and we," Roger's difficult time pushing out his words, pulled on Jack and Ralph's heart, "thought he was that beast we all believed in…."

Roger's eyes begged Sam to accept only that much. Sam and Eric's hearts were hardened against his pain. Their dagger eyes were narrowed.

Sam's jaw tightened, "What did you tell them about Piggy's murder?" The word "murder" had Ralph, Jack, and Roger feeling like they could hear the silence under their voices.

Ralph knew that Roger was ready to flood out his eyes by the way he braced himself, "I told them…." His eyes were strained and his posture was off.

"He doesn't have to talk about it!" Ralph decided. Roger gave him a puzzled expression, but Ralph was meeting Sam's eyes.

Sam's voice was firm and harsh, "No, I want to know what he said!"

"It doesn't matter!" Ralph tried out, but he had to pull his eyes away.

"Of course it matters!" Eric jumped out. "This wasn't just schoolyard bullying, Ralph. Someone died! Your friend," he made sure to let that part linger, "died!"

Sam added on to it, finally building up tears in his eyes, "They had a younger boy whipped, Ralph!" He was shaking, "They sat there watching other boys hold him down, while one fired the switch!"

Eric yelled at Jack and Roger, even though his view of them was blurred, "Does that make it better?" His tears broke, spilling down his cheek, "Does that lessen the sin, Roger? Does being bystanders lessen what you let went on?" He roared, "You ordered it to be carried out! You and Jack had a little boy whipped!"

Sam bellowed, "What did you tell your congregation about you pushing that rock, Roger?"

Ralph thought, if Margie was there, she would be interrupting to point out how much of a child Roger looked like. Roger answered softly, "I said Piggy's death was an accident."

"Fuck, you!" Sam threw at him.

Ralph said without thinking, "Maybe, it was an accident." but even when his inner child didn't like it, his mind couldn't find a good enough argument against it.

"Oh, fuck, you Ralph!" Sam responded off it. "You saw through them on the island. You need to remember how things went on that bloody place."

"I remember." his face was pained, but also powerful.

Sam looked around the room, searching for strength, "Not how we saw it…."

His brother's words pulled back Eric's neck straight. His mind went over his memories of the island, which made him look directly at Ralph, Jack, and Roger, "Fuck, you three."

**(A/N: Any time I see an "R" rated film from England, they always over use the F-word. That influenced this story. Also, Sam and Eric throwing it around so much shows how they only mimic the ways of other adults. I think that, with what happened on the island, they'd be emotionally stunted.)**

Nausea faded into Ralph, but he didn't let his mind go over any possibilities. He asked outright, "What did I do?"

Ralph could see Eric's chest moving up and down more noticeably than usual, but Roger was looking out the window and Jack hadn't brought his eyes up from the floor.

"You didn't talk to each other." Eric let out, desperately trying to get his message out in short words.

Ralph digested this, but didn't say a word. He watched Sam turn to his brother, "You need to elaborate. He won't get it. He didn't on the island."

Eric looked scared and ready for tears to start building up, "I can't do this."

Sympathy was thick in Sam's eyes, "That's fine, Eric. I'll tell it." He turned back to Ralph, unsure of how to begin.

The words exchanged between Ralph and Jack in his room crept into Ralph's mind, but he shut them out, "What are you trying to say?"

Sam was about to speak, but Eric jumped back in. He struggled to keep his voice steady, "Think back to the first day we met." He closed his eyes, breathing loudly, "Do you remember how you chose Jack and Simon," he had struggled getting Simon's name out, "to go exploring with you?"

Ralph didn't blink, "That wasn't important." but he knew it was.

Eric shook his head, tears shining in his eyes, "You were right there when Jack told Piggy, 'We don't want you. Three's enough.' and Piggy…." he looked away, clenching his eyes shut, "Piggy…."

Sam assured him, "Eric, I'll tell it for you."

"No," he whipped his head around to Sam. Eric's tears had broken, running down his cheeks, "I can do this!" Sam was shocked, hurt by his anger. "I'm sorry." Eric dropped his eyes.

"It's alright." Sam turned forward, looking down reflectively.

Eric forced Ralph to hear, "Piggy was upset about not going with you, Ralph. Just _you_," Eric watched Ralph swallow down vomit that left his throat burning. "You were right there. You had to hear him telling everyone," Piggy's words vibrated in his mouth, "'I was with him when he found the conch. I was with him before anyone else was.'."

"I was there! I heard him say it!" Ralph wasn't looking at either twin or Roger and Jack.

"But you never understood why he was so upset." Eric looked defeated, "You still don't."

Ralph met his eyes. "Why?" came out of him, weakly.

"He loved you." Eric said.

**(A/N: I should probably make something clear, now. Everyone's straight in this fan fiction. There are good arguments as to why some characters had romantic feelings for each other, but I saw it differently. That "hero-worship" thing I mentioned in chapter four should explain why.)**

The threat of crying played around with Ralph's voice, "I loved him too."

"But you really wanted to get close to Jack!" Eric accused him. Ralph moved his mouth, but couldn't find anything to say. Eric turned cold, "Do you know what Piggy said about you leaving him behind?" He shook his head at Ralph's silence, "No, you don't."

Sam advised his brother, "Eric, calm down."

Eric screamed at him, "You were the one yelling in the shop!" He pointed to himself, "It's my turn now!" He pointed at Ralph, "He needs to know what he missed on that island! So, does, Jack!"

Jack directed his puzzled expression on the floor. Roger fell into the darkness behind his eyelids. Ralph, unblinkingly, kept staring at Sam and Eric.

Eric hardened himself against Ralph's despair, "Piggy said, 'The worst part about it is that he left me behind. I could have gotten over him calling me Piggy, if he'd taken me along. I wonder….'." Eric sympathized, with Piggy's memory, "And he paused, realizing what we'd all be debating over later." He reflected, "He knew exactly who you liked best. You liked Jack first and you liked Simon second."

"Piggy was-." Ralph choked up. "Piggy was my friend." His jaw felt heavy, "He stood by me, when no one else would."

Eric was stoic, inside and out, "Don't cry now, Ralph." He went on, "Piggy only confided his disappointment about you leaving him behind in me and Sam. We didn't tell anyone until now, not even Margie and Shannon."

**(A/N: I'm not for married couples keeping secrets from each other, but what Piggy said about Ralph leaving him behind isn't something that you tell people.)**

Sam pushed away concern for Ralph's feelings, "Why did you like Simon and Jack best? You knew Piggy better, back at school."

Ralph's eyebrows pushed together, "How did you know we were friends back at school?"

Sam shrugged, "We saw you two around school in the dormitories and at meals or anywhere else around school."

Eric jumped in, "We saw you to, Jack." He turned his head, "And you Roger."

"We also saw you two with Simon." Sam added. He studied Jack, but he wouldn't look at him, "Jack, you used to shut Roger out when you were with Simon." He shrugged, "The choir boys were kept away from the rest of us, except for that voice lessens class that could be taken by both groups. But when we saw you three-you, Roger, and Simon-together, you only could focus on one of them at a time. We saw you once asking Simon if he was alright after fainting during a rehearsal."

**(A/N: "The choir boys were kept away from the rest of us, except for that voice lessens class that could be taken by both groups."-Yeah, I just realized I had to explain why Jack could have admired Ralph's singing.)**

Sam turned his head, speaking in mock-sympathy, "Roger, you looked like you felt left out." He took on a bored look, "Eric and I actually felt bad for you then."

Eric added to Jack, "Roger told us about how much you wanted to become Ralph's friend." Jack slid his eyes over to Roger, but he didn't move his head, "On, the island, we all used to talk about what was going on between you, Ralph, and Simon. When, Roger wasn't around," Roger finally turned his alarmed eyes back on the twins, "we used to give out our own theories about how you four really felt about each other."

Eric focused his attention on Ralph, "Piggy didn't actually think you wanted to be Jack's friend." His raised his eyebrows over knowing eyes, "At least that's what he told to us."

Fear gripped Ralph, giving the allusion that a peach pit was lodged in his throat. Sam smiled about being able to reveal, "He told us what you thought about Jack at school."

Jack turned his surprised face on Ralph. His unblinking eyes watched terror run through Ralph's skin. Ralph didn't acknowledge him, but pleaded with Sam, "We don't need to go over this."

"Yes, we do." Sam was firm in that. He began, "He said you told him-"

"I don't want him to know what I said!" Roger flinched over Ralph's response, but Jack wasn't moving any part of himself.

Sam didn't waver, "He was-"

"Sam, please!" erupted out of Ralph's mouth.

Jack jumped in, "You don't need to do this! Be quiet!"

Sam curled his mouth up in a ghostly smile, "Are you afraid of hearing what he said about you, Jack?"

"I'm not afraid!" but he regretted that, once it hit Sam's ears.

Sam's swished around his curled lips, "He said you were," Ralph was shaking, "arrogant and a bully." Eric cackled with him.

Roger was haunted by how much they reminded him of how he and Jack had howled after the little boy was whipped. Ralph was trembling, regret nauseating him. Jack refrained from blinking away the image of the twins. Now, he knew what Ralph had learned earlier, what it feels like to have your heart sliced.

"Jack." Ralph's voice made Jack face him. Jack's quivering lower lip cracked Ralph's heart. He brought his eyes downward, but guided them back up into Jack's. "I didn't always think you were bad. I used to hear you singing in vocals class and," he settled his gaze on Jack's shirt, "I thought that if you sang so well you couldn't be all bad." Ralph met his eyes again, "And you were always volunteering to take Simon to the infirmary, when he fainted."

"Then why didn't you befriend Jack at school?" Sam inquired harshly.

Ralph breathed deeply, facing him, "You were right about what I said to Piggy. I really did find Jack to be arrogant and a bully at times."

"I thought you admired the way he looked after Simon." his arms were folded over his chest, while he relished about being able to call Ralph's lie.

"I did admire the way he looked after Simon." Ralph swallowed hard, bobbing his adam's apple. He locked eyes with Jack, "I was a little frightened of you."

Ralph's honesty sharply jabbed Jack's heart, but he held back tears, "I can't blame you."

The moment twisted Sam's insides, he was shaking from anger and distraught, "How do you think Piggy felt?" They looked back at him, even Roger, "You ignored his feelings, Ralph! He was your friend first, but you just had to go off with Jack and Simon!"

Ralph snapped, "I did care about Piggy! I told him I was sorry!"

Sam looked at the floor, "He thought you didn't care as much as you used to, even when you were completely against Jack. He felt you still thought of Jack more than him." He added, "I think he only told me and Eric that."

"We haven't told Margie or Shannon about that either." Eric let out.

"Why are you focusing so much on this?" Ralph asked them.

That question broke them. "It was your fault everything went wrong!" exploded out of their lips.

"How?" Ralph was shaking. Jack looked the way he had, watching Piggy's body being carried away by the ocean. Roger reflected on Sam and Eric's words.

Sam had angry tears stuck in his eyes, "You know it must have been awful for him, watching you leave with Jack and Simon. Everything was going to change between you two, but he found the strength to accept that. He could accept what you had with Simon and Jack." He stressed his voice, "Didn't you ever notice how Piggy only spoke badly about Jack, when he did something wrong?"

Sam slid his eyes over, "Jack, you could never do that. You were angry, when Simon gave Piggy his food, when Simon told Ralph he didn't believe in the beast, and all those times you thought Ralph favored Piggy."

Jack felt dizzy, his brain thudded with memories. Sam continued, "It's like when Piggy had to stay behind with the little ones, while we went exploring. You ranted on about how much Ralph kept Piggy out of danger, but you didn't understand that when Ralph was reminding you about why Piggy couldn't come, it wasn't a guilt trip! He cared about you." His eyes stressed his honesty, "Everyone saw that, but you!"

Jack's head spun, his body swayed. Ralph helped him stay up; meeting his drained eyes a quick moment. Ralph told Sam, "We're alright now."

Sam squinted, "You don't even forgive him!" He calmed his voice, "You see what we see in Jack, Simon's murder and Piggy's murder. You know things would have been better if all that time, before you two were complete enemies, you stopped arguing and admitted what made you jealous of each other, admire each other, and that you wanted to be friends!"

"How would that have helped?" came out of Ralph softly.

"You divided us!" his arms were shaking out in front of him. "We all would have stayed together if you two hadn't given us the chance to make separate groups!" He admitted, "I don't know that for sure, but, Ralph, you should have gone after Jack, when he left us."

Eric added, "We all knew Jack was upset you didn't go after him and that you were hurt by him leaving. Piggy gathered us up that night, without you, Jack, or Roger and suggested we fix things between you two. Simon agreed with him." He looked away, pushing out, "The rest of us thought it would be better to let you settle things on your own…."

Ralph exhaled deeply. Jack's skin had paled. Roger's eyes begged Sam and Eric to stop, but they weren't looking his way.

Ralph brought his eyebrows together, over puzzled eyes, "I don't understand. In your shop, you kept trying to convince me to side with you about Jack."

"You're better than Jack." Sam explained.

He shook his head, "No, I'm not."

Eric jumped in, "You didn't make a tribe of killers!"

"But Sam just said what happened on the island was partially my fault." Ralph pointed out. "You both seem to think things might have gone better, if Jack and I had talked things out."

Sam pressed a sweaty palm against his forehead, "You still don't understand!"

"What do you want me to understand?" Ralph's tone was demanding.

Sam threw his hand off his head, "You left out your old friends!" He focused a fiery glare on Jack, "You were even worse than Ralph about that, Jack! You spent so much of your time either fighting with Ralph or trying to make him accept you."

Sam slid his eyes back over on Ralph, "Remember how excited Jack was about killing his first pig? You shut him down at first, but he kept trying to make you happy. He said you should have been there! He wanted you with him, Ralph! You still don't understand what it meant, that he looked only for your approval!"

"What does it mean?" ripped out of Ralph's mouth.

Sam addressed Jack, "You just kept focusing on Ralph and Simon after him. All you ever did was sulk, _by yourself_, about how much you felt unaccepted by them." He slammed into Jack, "They liked you! And you know who else cared for you? Roger! But you pushed him away, and we all paid for it with Piggy's death!"

A thought came into Sam's head for the first time, the moment of Piggy's death playing differently in his mind, "Roger," Roger glided his saddened expression into Sam's scared eyes, "was that rock even meant for Piggy?"

Jack's lips parted, slightly. Ralph stiffened his body and he could have sworn his heart beat was echoing through his ears. Eric stared at his brother, without blinking. Sam's idea struck him as something about their time on the island worth mulling over the "what ifs".

Eric toook his eyes off his twin, landing them on Roger, "Was it worth it? You wasted your time being the first one to join Jack's tribe! You didn't make anything better for yourself or anyone! You lost everything! You lost Jack!"

Roger ripped out of the house, through the French doors that had been left opened. Sam and Eric widened their eyes at his speed. Jack and Ralph dashed out after him. The twins looked at each other, wordlessly agreeing to move over to the archway and stay there. They saw Ralph and Jack running at the same speed, but Ralph leap forward. He tumbled on the grass with Roger.

Ralph's face hovered over Roger's. Maybe, it was because of Roger's profession, or the way his body violently shook from his sobbing, but Ralph saw Roger differently for the first time. Roger had him thinking of Jesus nailed to the cross.

Tears broke out on Ralph's face, shaking him, "I'm sorry! I'm s-s-so sorry, Roger!"

"Wh-h-hy?" he asked.

Ralph took a few deep breaths, calming himself. He sucked up his tears, leaning back so Roger could sit up, "I took Jack away from you and I'm sorry."

Roger considered this, going over the moments from Jack first noticing Ralph, to his struggling to keep Jack's friendship on the island, and the moment when Jack didn't want to join him at the same host family.

Roger avoided Ralph's eyes, "You never meant to do it." His eyes rose up into Ralph's, "And no one has to apologize for something they didn't mean to do."

Ralph asked, "Was the rock meant for me or Piggy?"

"It was meant for you." Roger apologetically confided in him.

"You were only trying to scare me, weren't you?" Roger's eyes widened, surprised by Ralph's wisdom. Ralph looked back and forth from Roger to Jack, "Neither of you are true killers. You never were." His eyes slid down, bottom lip quivering.

"I'm sorry that I killed Piggy." He was too choked up to finish his next sentence, "I-I…."

"I'm sorry, Roger!" blurted out of Jack's mouth. Roger looked him in the eyes the entire time he explained, "I pushed you away on purpose." He shook his head, "You and I were bullies in our own right, but Simon was nice to me. I liked feeling like I wasn't completely bad, but you and I misbehaved around each other. Then, I saw Ralph and thought it might be better," he looked down, but raised his eyes back up, "if I surrounded myself with nicer people. I did it for my ego." He added, "But I felt happy because I was so certain that, if I failed to be liked by Simon and Ralph, I still had you!"

Roger nodded, then, he stood up. Jack shot up, latching on to him, but he wiggled his way out. Jack could now feel the shame and embarrassment that Ralph had felt in his house. It was as bad as the cold that shocks you after you have none else to hold you, allowing the wind to whistle against you skin.

"You'll forget me again." Roger explained.

"Not this time." but Roger wasn't convinced.

Ralph stood up, "Jack wanted to find you!"

"Sam said that a woman named Margie wanted all of you to find me," he reminded him.

Ralph told him, "Before we went to see Sam and Eric, Jack told me about how you could never find anything out about me, even though you were usually so good at finding things out. He felt bad about shutting you out He wanted to see you again!"

Roger looked into Jack's eyes, "Why didn't you come find me before now?"

Jack found no use in hiding, "I was scared of what you might be like…."

Roger had difficulty revealing, "The three of us shouldn't have acted the way we did. Even off the island, not one of us accepted how the other felt!" He turned to Ralph, "You didn't want to be in a host family with Jack," he looked at his old friend, "and you didn't want to be with me."

"Roger-" Jack began.

Roger spoke to Ralph, "I thought by pushing the rock near you that you would think I wanted to kill you and stay on your side. I thought I'd have Jack to myself." He was shaking, but not as violently as before, "I still can't sleep well at night because of my murdering Piggy. I tried to kill myself because of it.

Jack reached for him, but Roger stepped back. "Don't you remember all those times we had together before Ralph or Simon? All those thunderstorms I let you share my bed in and the times I tutored you and brought you to the infirmary for even the smallest bump against something?" A distraught smile had showed up on Jack's face.

Roger's mouth slipped in and out between being happy and sad, "I remember."

Jack finished honestly, "I loved you then and I still love you now."

Roger moved his eyes around, taking this in. "You still pushed me away." he pointed out.

"Things have changed since the island." Jack stated, "I've changed and you've changed…."

Roger asked, "Can we really be friends again?"

"I'd like it, if we were."

Jack's honesty opened Roger's arms and had him wrap them around Jack, who desperately clung to him. Ralph admired the scene.

They pulled apart and Jack remarked, "You know what's still the same, after all this time?" Ralph and Roger looked to each other for an answer, but neither of them knew what Jack was talking about.

He told them, smiling, "I'm still taller than you both." They all broke out laughing, finding his comment absurd.

"I never would have figured you one to care about size." Roger added onto it.

Ralph marched towards him, with Roger backing up. They were both amused.

"You're a priest! You can't make that sort of joke!" Ralph told him.

"I can't?" he asked, laughing.

Ralph gave him a little shove, continuing their laughter, "You can't."

Jack watched them, chuckling. Ralph stopped their fun, regretfully, "I still see Piggy's death, when I look at you." He looked away, "I just didn't want to start off with more hidden feelings."

Roger rested a hand on his shoulder, "I don't think we should start that way either."

He took his hand off Ralph's shoulder and Jack watched Ralph shake it. Smiles spread on their faces and they flung their arms around each other. Sam and Eric reflected to themselves about what they were seeing.

"Maybe, we should go see Margie and Shannon now." Jack proposed.

Ralph agreed, "They've probably been worrying this whole time about what we were doing."

"I guess my being a priest didn't comfort them." Roger commented.

"We didn't know that you're a priest." Ralph confessed.

Roger told them, "It's listed that I am in the phone book. I thought maybe that's how you found me"

Ralph and Jack turned to each other, Jack let out, "Of course! That's why she kept saying we'd be alright."

Roger couldn't help but smile, "Who did this?"

"Margie." Ralph and Jack answered at the same time.

"I think we should go see Sam and Eric's wives." Roger decided.

They walked back over to Sam and Eric, clunking against the wooden planks of the deck.

Eric said, "We've said all we needed to say to you three."

"And we want to go home now." Sam finished.

"I'd like to meet your wives, especially the one who kept from you that the phone book lists me as a priest." he was smiling a little. Sam and Eric looked to each other, shocked silent.

"But I'd like to say something first." They turned back to him, listening to Roger preach, "I've been thinking about who the blame belongs too and something Simon told me on the island, that I didn't understand then, makes sense of who we should blame. He said that there's a beast in all of us…."

**(A/N: "…..there's a beast in all of us."-I might as well have said, "With great power, comes great responsibility.")**

"He was right." Sam said.

"No wonder he didn't believe in the same beast we did." Eric added.

They all thought about this in silence.

Sam broke it, "Let's go tell Margie and Shannon that we're alright."

The five of them walked through Roger's home, as oddly pristine as Ralph or Jack's. When they filed out the front door, they saw Shannon and Margie rush out of the car. They had been letting Gloria sit in the back seat, but she'd left her legs outside. She stood up closing the door, tensely waiting with the other women for the others to reach them.

Margie broke the tension, walking forward, offering her hand to Roger, "You must be Roger."

He shook her hand in both of his, "And you must be Margie, the only one who came here knowing that I'm a priest."

"Yes," she chuckled. She asked Sam, Eric, Ralph, and Jack, "Are any of you angry?" They shook their heads and she laughed again.

Sam did say, "You could have told us."

"I thought you get angry and not come." she explained.

Eric teased her, "No wonder you wanted to wait outside."

Margie's face lit up, "Well, isn't it good that I made you all talk to Roger without me and Shannon."

Eric came over to her, smiling, "You probably would have made us talk about the most important things sooner."

**(A/N: There were times, when I didn't think I would ever finish chapter 6, that I wished I'd written Margie coming in the house with them. I was going to do that at one point, but I abandoned the idea. Also, in my head, I never thought of making Shannon, Margie, or Gloria as important I did. Jack wasn't even going to have a crush on Gloria. I was going to make her have a crush on Roger. That's why she blushes when Jack and Ralph ask her if she married Roger, but I changed my mind.)**

Shannon spoke to Roger next, sounding a little more awkward than Margie had, "I'm Shannon, Sam's wife."

"It's nice to meet you." he shook her hand.

Jack asked all of them, "Would all of you mind coming with me, back to the house I'm renting. There's something important I should show you."

Ralph turned his head quickly to Jack, who nodded at him. Ralph whipped his head around, "Jack showed it to me earlier. It really is rather important."

"May, I tag along?" Gloria asked. All eyes fell on her, "I know I wasn't exactly apart of what you went through, but I'd like to know how things turn out."

"You can ride with me, Ralph," Jack locked eyes with Roger, "and Roger, if he's coming with us."

A weightless, lifting feeling overcame Roger from being remembered by Jack, "I'm coming." Jack smiled a little, putting the same expression on Roger. Only Margie and Ralph noticed the affection being shared in Roger and Jack's eyes.

"We'll follow you in our car." neither Sam, Eric, or Shannon objected to Margie's decision. They all broke apart, sliding into the right cars.

Ralph ushered Gloria into the front, flashing Jack a grin behind her. Jack tried to hide his pleasure, from Gloria's sight. He drove away, asking her, "You look very professional. Is that for a job?"

"Yes," she said. "I'm a reporter."

"You're a woman!" he let out in an unoffending tone. "I mean that's great! It's amazing!"

The corners of her lips were tugged upward, "Thank you."

Roger turned to Ralph, who nodded at him. Ralph saw him swing his eyes between Gloria and Jack, putting a smile on Roger's face.

**(A/N: This chapter came out a lot longer than I expected. At one point I saw I had fifteen pages, and I wasn't even done! It had me thinking, "Whoa, there!")**


	7. A Question Of Time

It was surprising for a plump man in his early forties to come up to the white picket fence in his side yard, seeing two cars pull up to Jack's house that evening.

The man's wife came up to him, "That must have been why he turned down our invitation." They're backyard was inhabited by friends and family, enjoying a barbeque. Laughter was echoing out from the backyard, but they kept watching Jack's company.

"I wonder why they don't just pull into the driveway." he remarked about Sam's car.

"That would help any other cars passing by." She swept her hand out, "We already have so many cars parked in front of our home."

Jack stopped the car, letting everyone out. Roger came up to him, saying in a low voice, "You're neighbors seem rather interested in us."

Jack said, "They're alright. I think their a little shocked to see me bring company home."

Sympathy showed up in Roger's eyes as he watched Jack wave to his neighbors. If they hadn't been so shocked to see seven other people at Jack's home, they would have hurried back to their party. However, they waved back.

Ralph came up to them, mirroring Roger's expression, "Don't you have any friends here?"

Jack let his hand back down, setting his mouth in a line. He looked back and forth between Ralph and Roger, "I didn't make any friends here or back in London."

"But that was before today." Ralph corrected.

Jack glowed in his words, remembering to also direct his smile on Roger. Sentimental feelings passed between Roger and Jack.

Margie, who'd been standing by the door she'd stepped out of, went over to the other women. Sam and Eric went over to Roger, Jack, and Ralph, moving everything along. Usually, Margie wasn't the one to hide away from men, but this made keeping face through muttered sexist remarks in her office look easy.

"_They filled me in on the parts that Roger didn't tell us about that island."_ she whispered to Margie and Shannon.

"_Did they mention how much Ralph's voice kept changing?"_ Shannon inquired, sounding a little amused.

**(A/N: "Did they mention how much Ralph's voice kept changing?"- Yeah, I just had to get that in there. Every time I watch the 1963 movie with someone, we end up discussing the changes of Ralph's voice.)**

"_I was surprised to be hearing about that." _she admitted.

"_They should really write a book about it." _A smile tugged on Margie's lips,_ "I'm sure they'll be good at character detail. It's the one they all agree on."_

The three of them flashed each other little smiles, before joining the men inside.

Jack flicked the light switch, ushering to the parlor, "Please, wait in there, while I go get something from my room."

Jack left the group and everyone moved into the living room. Everyone, but Ralph, was gaping at the cleanliness of Jack's home.

_It's like his mother will come scold him, if he lets it get messy_, stayed in Margie's head, but Shannon and Gloria used their eyes to let her know they were thinking the same thing.

"It's a little to perfect." got Sam a glare from Margie.

"I keep my flat the same way," cut out of Ralph's mouth.

Sam locked his lips together, stopping his eyes from blinking. Eric eyed his brother, while Shannon and Gloria sat still through the tension.

Margie's eyes lifted off the daily polished coffee table, "What do you do for work, Ralph?"

He brought his eyes off Sam, "I'm a writer."

Margie's cheeks reached up to her eyes, "That seems right for you." Shannon and Gloria did much better jobs at stifling their reactions after the conversation they'd had outside.

"I like it well enough." Ralph said.

"What have you written?" Eric asked.

Sam look down the moment Ralph turned in his direction, Jack came out of his room, in time to hear Ralph say, "I've mostly written poems, but I've had three novels published. By the Hanging Tree. Get in the Car. And my most recent work was: I Could Never Follow Him."

**(A/N: By the Hanging Tree-A young man and woman fall in love in 1888, but social class keeps them part. Fiona is a young heiress, while Aaron is a stable hand for her family. At night they have romantic meetings by a tree that reminds them both of an umbrella. In the end, Fiona tells her parents she will marry Aaron, even after they had threatened to disown her. Her parents worry that the Fiona won't make it and decide to relinquish their threat. Fiona and Aaron ignore her parents' disappointment and get married. The story's epilogue shows them telling their two sixteen year old sons and thirteen year old daughter about this.**

**Get in the Car- Sophie, raised only by her father after her mother's death when she was little, takes up driving lessons. Despite her father's, Dan Harding, disapproval of women driving, or doing anything like men, she gets lessons from an elderly instructor. Sophie suspects her instructor, Mathew McFerrin, is stalking her and her father. The story ends with Mathew revealing to Sophie that her mother didn't die. Sophie's father admits to lying about her mother's death because she actually walked out. He also says his reasons for stifling Sophie's ambitions are because her mother had been ambitious. He apologizes and allows her to be her own person. Mathew also turns out to be Sophie's grandfather, but he hadn't known about his daughter getting married or having children until he saw Sophie. She looked like her mother and he was following them to find out if Sophie was his grandchild and to see his daughter again. It turns out that Sophie's mother ran away from him to. Dan had been told Mathew and his wife was dead. The three of them start to become a family.**

**I Could Never Follow Him-A man in his late twenties goes back to the school he attended. The story is told from the first person perspective of Henry Washer. He asks his old teachers about what happened to a boy he knew named Kenneth Arthur. The old janitor, the only person who knew about the rift formed in the boys friendship before they were separated when children were sent to the English countryside during the war, tells him he heard he'd went to live in France. Henry goes to France, touring it with a motherly English widow abandoned by her children for being a drunk. Shirley Gannum translates for him in France, while he tries to break her drinking habit. They find emotional refuge in each other. She sobers up and he tells her about how he could never understand his friend as a boy and he still couldn't. Shirley guesses that Kenneth was angry with him because he was jealous of Henry, but he also hated himself for it because of how much he loved him. They find clues possibly leading to Kenneth, trying to sort out the boys' friendship. Towards the end, Henry reveals that he didn't know what caused the rift. They end up where they think Kenneth is staying, but he's just checked out and left. Henry recalls his confusion of Kenneth emotions as a boy and links it to not being able to find him as an adult. His last line ends the book, "I could never follow him.")**

"I've read your work." all eyes fell on Roger.

"That's," Margie came into the spotlight, "why I was over his house, when all of you came by. I was returning Roger's copy of _Get in the Car_. Roger hadn't-"

Roger nodded his permission, but told Ralph himself, "I hadn't mentioned that I knew you."

"Oh," came out of Ralph quietly. He turned his head between Roger and Gloria, "What did you both think of my work?"

Roger ushered for Gloria to speak first. She told Ralph, "I liked _Get in the Car_ the best." She smiled, "You've really captured a woman's mind in it."

"I'm glad you think so." Ralph told her.

Roger's voice turned Ralph's head, "I like the complexity of your characters, even the smallest characters come off as three dimensional."

The corners of Ralph's lips turned up, "Oh, I never really thought of it that much. I just threw a bunch of random facts about my characters into the story."

Roger's face settled in a smile, "Well, you're good at it."

"I read your work too." rushed out of Jack's mouth. Ralph met his eyes, while he said, "I recognized your name. I've only read _I Could Never Follow Him_."

"What did you think of it?" Ralph inquired.

"I didn't-I didn't like that Henry and Kenneth's friendship was never repaired." he'd been looking Ralph in the eyes, but he finally let them slide down.

"You based it on you and Jack?" Sam laughed.

Ralph whipped his head around, disbelief and fire running through his eyes, "Yes, I did, Sam!" He turned down the volume of his voice, "People use writing to get over things." His eyes fell away from Sam, "It's a way of telling people what you've been through."

Sam looked down, but Eric snapped, "Do you really forgive them, Ralph?"

"It's complicated." sympathy formed in Margie, Shannon, and Gloria. Ralph's answer had left Roger looking like he painfully understood, but Jack's distraught, unblinking eyes focused on the back of Ralph's head.

Eric threw his eyes up at Jack, bitterness coating his words, "Have a good cry, Jack!"

"Shut up!" Ralph shocked Eric silent. "I want you to stop bothering Jack."

"Out of an old desire to befriend the kind hearted boy you thought Jack was!" Eric pointed out.

Sam raised his head, "What else could make it this easy for you to side with Jack," he pointed his chin at Roger, "and his friend?"

"It was fourteen years ago." Margie blurted out, putting the focus on her.

"Margie, you need to understand that you weren't there." Sam's firm voice had underlying pain to it.

"No, I wasn't there." she agreed. "But what you need to realize is that the four of you were there fourteen years ago. You've been through a lot since then." Her eyes darted around to them, "You've graduated school. You work now. You don't live with your parents. You're married." She wrapped it up, "You're not boys anymore. All of you are men now. The other boys are probably men too…."

"Are we supposed to go find them and show them to Roger and Jack?" Sam asked sarcastically, "How about the boy they had whipped."

"The younger boys don't remember us." sliced the air, bringing everyone's attention on Roger.

"You've seen them?" Eric asked.

"Yes," Roger nodded once. "I found them at a school together in Oxford, three years ago. When I started apologizing for how I'd been at school and on the island, they all told me they didn't remember it. They only know it happened because their parents told them they'd been ship wrecked." His expression was pulled down, "I didn't tell them about what happened."

"To make yourself look good," Eric accused.

Roger met his eyes, "I wanted to keep them happy. They have lives on Oxford. They play sports, get good grades, and go on dates."

His honesty shook up Sam's emotions, Sam still reminded him, "I want to forget about what you did to me and everyone else."

Roger inhaled deeply, "I'm sorry."

Sam shouted, "Eric and I cried ourselves to sleep at night because of you!"

"You could have come to me!" Ralph told him.

Sam's eyes glistened, "Ralph, the only time we told you things, it went badly. We told you we saw the beast and Simon died-"

"It wasn't your fault!" burst out of Ralph.

"We warned you about Jack sharpening his spear, but he nearly killed you anyway." Eric added on to Sam's confession.

Roger felt bound as a priest to say something, but he couldn't form a sentence. Jack's emotions also silenced him.

Sam criticized Roger, "If you found the younger boys, you could have found Ralph, Jack, and us."

"I was scared too." Roger confessed, intensely avoiding Ralph and Jack's eyes.

"You were all scared." Shannon revealed, upsetting Sam and Eric. "Now, that you've come together, you'll need time to fully get over that fear." Margie half-smiled at her, shinning with pride.

"What's in the box?" Gloria pulled the attention on the box Ralph had seen before, cradled in Jack's palms.

Jack came around; finding his only option of seating was next to Ralph on the couch. He swung his eyes between them, but then thought to ask, "Would you mind if I sat in the middle?"

"Not at all," a smile was tugging on Ralph's lips.

Roger slid over wordlessly, smiling to himself. Jack teased him, with a smile of his own. Sam and Eric saw this, but kept their criticism in their heads. Shannon and Gloria didn't react much to it and Ralph never looked. Margie's brain worked on connecting Jack's choice of seating arrangements to the smiles on Roger and Jack's faces.

The gentle treatment Jack gave the box, had Sam an Eric leaning forward. Roger's trembling hand held onto his hair. Ralph's mouth had settled in a line. Jack was also on the solemn side. Shannon's lips had parted slightly, while Margie moved her eyes over the men. Gloria stared at the box, feeling her insides cave in.

They all held their breaths, seeing Jack flip the lid open. Margie flicked her eyes up at Roger, having seen his own widen. Jack pulled out the glasses, sparking the interest of Shannon, Gloria, and Margie.

Sam's sobs shook him. He pulled his hand over his eyes, "Oh, my gosh!"

"Why did you keep them?" Eric asked, tears streaming out of his eyes.

Jack's eyes fell on Piggy's glasses. Both lenses were gone now and the left side was a little bent. "I didn't know what do with them. I wanted to see if any of you wanted them." He met Ralph's eyes, "Ralph has already said he doesn't."

Sam reached out, "May, I have a look at them." Roger was the only one following the movement of Piggy's glasses.

Gloria asked, "Those belong to that boy you called Piggy, don't they?"

"They used to." he nodded, letting his eyes settle on his lap.

Roger slid his eyes over, when Sam passed the glasses to his brother. Eric's fingers turned them over, letting his eyes view every angle. He locked eyes with Sam, somehow getting across information to each other. He ended up giving Piggy's glasses back to Jack.

"We don't want them." Eric said.

Jack sunk back against the couch, looking at the glasses, "What do you all want to do with them?"

"May, I keep them?" Roger asked. The way he spoke made Jack recall he four year old Roger, asking to share his bed in thunderstorms.

He turned his head quickly into Roger's eyes, handing him Piggy's glasses, "Here you go."

While Roger was inspecting the glasses, Sam scoffed, "Sure, a trophy for your kill." Eric smiled at his brother, while Margie and Shannon fell into disbelief.

"No," Roger showed him his time-worn eyes, "there not a trophy for me." Sam and Eric were shocked speechless.

Gloria brought all the attention on her, "It's like what George Santayana said, 'Those who do not remember history, are doomed to repeat it.'" Her words turned Margie's, Shannon's, Ralph's, Roger's, and Jack's mouths up.

"That's right." Roger confirmed.

Sam asked his group, "Would it be alright if we headed home now?"

"I'm tired myself." Eric added to their wives.

Sympathy for there worn out expressions came onto Margie's face, "We can go now."

"That's fine with me." Shannon said.

They all walked over to the door, Sam muttered to Jack, "We'll see ourselves out."

Shannon and Margie remembered their simultaneous, "Goodbye." However, "thank you for having us" seemed strange to attach on there farewell.

Shannon gripped the archway, stopping her legs. She turned back to Jack, "I'm sorry I slashed your face." Only Roger felt alarmed by that statement.

Jack told her, "It's quite alright. I think I would have done the same thing to myself."

"Well, you didn't deserve it," she decided.

Hints of a smile could be found on Jack's face, "I'll be seeing you then?"

Margie popped up over Shannon's shoulder, "Of course!" She looked at Gloria, "And you I hope."

Gloria broke out in a smile, shaking her head, "I couldn't leave this group now."

Shannon and Margie turned away, with their husbands. Before Shannon had pulled the door shut, Ralph shot up.

"Sam, Eric, wait!" burst off his tongue.

Shannon pushed the door open, stepping aside for Sam and Eric. "What is it?" slid out of the twins.

Ralph confessed, "I first agreed to ride around with Jack only because he knew where you were." Gloria eyed Jack and Roger. Roger nodded, like he hadn't expected any other reason. Jack looked hurt by Ralph's words, but he was also accepting things.

Ralph added, after the twins didn't verbally respond, "I was hoping to be friends with both of you again."

That hit Sam the hardest. He offered, with a half-smile, "We'll be seeing you." and he walked to the car

Eric grabbed the door knob, "See you later, Ralph." and he shut the door. Ralph left the couch, hearing Sam's car drive off.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked.

"Just going to check on the stuff I bought at the bakery." Ralph explained, before going over to the brown bags.

"Oh." came out of Jack's mouth. "That's alright, then."

Roger, Jack, and Gloria faced each other, at a loss for conversation. Gloria tried out, "It's been an interesting day."

Ralph hunched over, gripping the counter. He wailed out tears, prompting Jack and Roger to get up. Gloria stayed seated, feeling out of place.

Ralph cried out, "I told him to go back and take names! Piggy told me how upset he was and I told him to go back and take names!"

Roger and Jack exchanged concerned looks. They came around Jack, both holding him up.

"He still paired around with you afterwards. He got over it." Roger assured him.

Jack added, "He didn't make a fuss about it afterwards, did he?" He reminded him, "He stayed your friend."

Ralph's deep breaths shook, but he didn't need help to stay up now. He blocked tears, straining his voice not to vibrate, "Things might have turned out different."

"We don't know that." Roger pointed out. "Ralph, our lot didn't like Piggy. It had nothing to do with what you said."

Jack and Ralph turned their heads to each other, recalling what the twins had said and what had been confessed before they ran into Sam and Eric.

"Well…." Roger couldn't find any words that worked for the situation.

"Is this all we're ever going to do now?" Ralph asked them both.

Gloria got her answered in first, "You can't plan that now." She tossed around, "Maybe you'll never stop talking about what happened on that island or maybe after some time you won't end up talking about it as much or at all."

**(A/N: Gloria's line makes me think of something that would be said on **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_**.)**

Jack turned to Ralph and Roger, "I guess all we can do is wait it out, let things run their course."

Gloria told them, "I think you can do it. You've already gotten through today and I'm sure that was hard on all of you, having to face what happened."

"But what do we talk about now?" Roger asked them all.

Gloria offered, "Anything, I guess."

Ralph turned to the clock, "It's about time for dinner."

"Thanks, for taking my advice." she laughed.

Ralph looked back at her, chuckling, "No, I meant that I still have a lot of bread and pastries I bought earlier. We could all eat some of it now."

"On my plates." came out of Jack's smiling lips.

Ralph tilted his head, "Oh, Jack, I'm sorry."

Roger couldn't help but smile, "I wonder what you'll offer to have served on my plates."

Ralph turned on his heel, grinning at Roger, "Aren't you supposed to say I'm forgiven?"

Fondness passed into Roger's eyes, "Well, you're forgiven then."

Jack nudged Ralph, "He can serve us as a penance then." He smirked playfully at Roger, "It'll be like school, younger boys serving older ones."

"I'm only a year younger than both of you." but he was still smiling.

Gloria felt amused by them, "Are we going to eat anything or not?"

Jack told her, "I'll get the plates. All of you can," he ushered to the living room, "wait here." He went over to the cupboard, pulling out four plates.

"I'll help, if you want." Roger offered.

Jack rested his plates on the table, jesting, "Oh, now, you're so willing to help."

Ralph's, "I'll stay in the living room, if you want." sent laughter through everyone.

"Still so generous," Roger commented, but only as joke.

Ralph turned to him, "I helped out before!"

Jack felt illuminated from the way Roger and Ralph laughed together.

* * *

**(A/N: I almost had Ralph take Piggy's glasses in chapter four, but then I made Roger more important than I thought he'd turn out to be. Also, I thought of having an epic scene of everyone dropping Piggy's glasses into a grill at Jack's summer home. I was going to have Eric comment about Piggy's glasses having been used to make fire and then be destroyed by it. I was also going to have Shannon, Margie, and Gloria wonder if the three of them would have acted differently, stranded on an island.)**


	8. Home

By the time Christmas had come around, the Curdys still didn't know as much as Gloria, Shannon, or Margie, but that was by choice. When Ralph had taken Jack and Roger along to explain things, they had refused to listen. They assured Ralph that all they needed to know was that he had friends and that they were all happy. The days from summer to winter had also healed Jack's face.

Once on a picnic Margie had forced everyone into during the summer, Ralph had taken along a little car. When Jack was lying on his back, watching clouds slip by, Roger and Ralph came over to him. They sat straight up, laughing as Ralph rolled the car on Jack's cuts.

"You make a nice street, Jack." Ralph had remarked. Jack was thrown into a fit of laughter, spreading to almost everyone. Sam and Eric had kept their mouths straight, clenched shut.

Ralph had brought the Curdys along to Roger's Christmas party, marking ten people for attendance. Jack came up to Roger and Ralph, dropping his arms on both of them.

Over the months since that wonderful and awful summer day, they had been dubbed by Margie as "the three musketeers". They had taken up spending weekends together, switching locations every time. And it became an unspoken habit that if one of them couldn't show up, no one saw each other. Margie was the only person curious about this. Although she refrained from asking anything about it, she guessed right about why their friendship worked like that. Jack had promised nit to forget Roger. And he never did. He also made a personal vow of never focusing on one friend more than the other. And he never did.

* * *

"I'm going to ask her tonight." he was looking at Gloria.

"Are you going to ask her in front of everyone or alone," Ralph asked him

"I think alone might be best." Jack decided.

Roger suggested, "I think you should go ask her about it, so she can calm your nerves."

Jack looked at both of them, then pulled away. He could feel their eyes on him as he walked over to Gloria.

"May, I see you alone, only on the next room?" he asked, trying to steady his voice.

She was trying to hide a smile, "Of course." She said lightly, "I'm sure being in the next room won't cause a scandal." Jack smiled. She'd become the best at calming him, during their romance.

"I wonder who they'll have performing the ceremony for them." Ralph joked.

Roger looked down, breathing laughter, "Yes, I've been wondering the same thing."

The two of them gasped amusement, like two little school boys.

"Everyone!" Jack's voice brought their heads back up. He was standing by Gloria. "I have an announcement to make!" he could see Ralph and Roger failing to hide their joy.

Jack shared a smile with Gloria and they announced together, "We're getting married!"

Applause and cheers thundered through the house, but it was Sam's words still hit slipped in to Margie's ears, "Congratulations, Jack."

She heard Eric add, "I hope you're as happy as me and Margie."

Both comments were delivered awkwardly and she knew as well as Jack and Gloria that it wasn't the forgiveness Ralph had given to him (and Roger), but it was something. Her smile settled the anxiety that had claimed Ralph and Roger when they spotted the twins go over to the happy couple.

Margie caught them watching her out of the corner of her eye. She flashed them a grin, tilting her head towards the conversation being held by Sam, Eric, Jack, and Gloria. Ralph and Roger nodded their understanding.

Gloria took hold of Margie's hands, jabbering away about Margie having been right about Jack proposing at the party. Shannon came over with the Curdy's, offering their sentiments. Jack slipped away, beaming at Ralph and Roger.

Jack jested, "Now, all I need is someone to marry us."

Ralph turned to Roger, "I think I know someone who can get it done."

Roger rubbed his chin, meeting Ralph's gaze, "Yes, I think I know who you're thinking of."

"Well, do tell me who the he is." He looked directly at Roger, "What do you think of him?"

"The three musketeers" broke out laughing, deciding to join the others in pre-wedding excitement.

* * *

**(A/N: I've enjoyed writing this story, but I think some parts turned sour. I'm happy with the turn out of chapters 2, 3, 4 and 5, but chapters 1, 6, 7, and 8 feel a little weak to me. Please, comment and tell me what you think.)**


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